Culture Reflects the Standard You Are Willing to Enforce
A healthy culture is built on clear expectations, but that clarity muddies as soon as the accountability disappears. And the lack of accountability is evident when feedback is delayed or not given at all. I’ve seen one consistent pattern throughout my 20+ years in HR Leadership: when accountability disappears at the leadership level, culture deteriorates. I’ve watched this pattern unfold more times than I can count: a leader puts off the tough conversations and within months, the team culture is eroded and it’s quickly starting to spread to other teams like a cancer.
First, let’s look at why feedback doesn’t happen, as most leaders don’t avoid feedback because they don’t care. It could be the total opposite and they care too much and are over-thinking how to approach the situation. Or they could be avoiding it because they’re afraid it will go wrong, hurt someone’s feelings, make things awkward or won’t land the right way. Remember, leaders are human, too. And they want to be liked and don’t always consider that being liked can come without being respected. Leaders may not want to have that conversation because they think it isn’t kind, but what they fail to realize is that avoiding the conversation is actually much less kind, because it’s fanning the flames of the team being frustrated with their colleague. And, finally, the leader may not have been trained on how to give feedback, so they don’t know how to approach the situation. And let’s not forget, it’s the things we don’t want to do or know how to do that we put off over and over again.
The first few times, it’s not going to be comfortable, and that’s normal. The first few times we try anything new, it’s not comfortable, but it becomes more familiar the more we do it. When we stay human and approach it out of care instead of pointing fingers, it changes the whole vibe of the conversation. The fact is that the employee came to work there and agreed to the policies and procedures at the time they were hired, so when they veer from what they agreed to, we have to find out why.
Avoiding the feedback isn’t just impacting you and the employee violating the policy, it ripples throughout your entire team. If the behavior isn’t addressed, the team starts to question if there even are any expectations, if the handbook that they signed was just going through the motions, and if you’re not going to hold them accountable to that policy, do the other policies even matter? The rest of your team becomes resentful. This is when quiet quitting happens. Quiet Quitting is the act of checking out of a job while you look for another one and doing only the bare minimum, no more going above and beyond. They don’t care anymore. Poor performance, low quality and productivity, low morale, lack of accountability, decreased trust and respect, etc., these things all happen as a result of not having those tough conversations.
Let’s talk about feedback that builds trust and how to navigate those hard conversations with confidence. In my experience, the discomfort of a direct conversation is always cheaper than the cost of avoided accountability. So though it may feel difficult right now, it’s necessary and the more you do it, the more you will see the results of it, as well as the more comfortable you’ll get with it.
Most conversations become difficult when
We wait too long - we don’t address the behavior when it happens and now it just feels silly to bring it up because it’s been so long ago
We’re unclear about the goal of the conversation
We treat feedback like a confrontation and not collaboration
Remember, feedback is a gift, not a weapon, but it’s only a gift if it’s timely, specific and provided with care.
Let’s look at an example: Steve keeps coming to work late or not at all and you need to address the behavior.
First, let’s look at the impact this behavior is having on
The team - the team has to step in for him when he’s not there. They become resentful because they are all expected to be on time to work, but he doesn’t seem to be held to the same standard. Lowering morale, increasing animosity, decreasing teamwork. They see you, as the leader, who should say something to this employee. If you have strong team members, they will say something, too, but you, as the leader need to hold this employee accountable for the sake of the job, the team, the work and the organization.
Production targets - Production targets are barely met because the team is functioning shorthanded for the first 2 hours of the shift or for the full shift. Therefore, leaving the company to potentially need to work overtime to reach the targets that are missed or more mistakes being made because people are trying to do their own work and Steve’s work. The overtime wasn’t planned, so now it’s additional cost that cuts into your company’s profit, and your bonus.
The company - The team next to yours is seeing what is happening. When they take breaks with your team, they hear the complaints about Steve not coming in on time or at all and you, as the leader, not doing anything about it. This ultimately lowers their morale, so the resentment starts to grow into the rest of the organization.
Now, let’s talk about how to address the situation
First, seek to understand - why is the behavior happening?
“Hey Steve! I wanted to check-in with you, I have noticed you have been late to work and absent a lot, is everything ok?”
This opens the door for Steve to share what is going on with him, if anything.
It starts the conversation and lets him know that you are holding him accountable, you care and that it’s noticed when he isn’t at work.
If he shares something is going on, ask yourself if it could be FMLA eligible (he has to be employed for 1 year prior to being eligible, and meet other criteria, but it’s something to keep in mind if your company is legally required to offer FMLA), or if there is something that you can do to support him - maybe an EAP referral if he has something personal going on…as a leader, you want your team to feel comfortable coming to you and support them being able to come to work as their best selves.
Regardless, if anything or nothing is going on, we still need to hold Steve accountable to our attendance policy.
Employees appreciate accountability, because it reinforces clear expectations. Everyone being held accountable to them helps to keep the environment stable.
Things to remember when you need to address a behavior:
Address it as soon as possible. If an employee calls out sick for the 3rd time this month, have the conversation as soon as he returns the next day.
Be specific about the behavior and seek to understand, set clear expectations and hold him accountable. “Hey Steve, this is the 3rd time you have been out this month, is something going on?” If something is going on personally, talk with HR to see what support the company can provide to him, but don’t let his attendance go, he needs to be held accountable regardless. “I really need you to be here, when you’re not here the team is short-handed and everyone has to work extra hard to carry the load.” Explain to him that when he started, he agreed to the attendance policy and that you need to hold him accountable to it because the organization would not be successful if you didn’t hold your team accountable to the policies. If he was picking up the slack for a colleague who was always late or absent, he would want you to do something about it, too.
By having these difficult conversations, you’re removing the resentment and reinforcing the organization’s policies, in other words, you’re doing your job as a leader. The more difficult conversations you have when you see an employee not following the policies or starting to step over the line, by addressing it immediately you are showing them that accountability isn’t cruel, it’s actually leadership.
Culture always reflects the standard you’re willing to enforce.
Danielle