The Question that Separates Employees from Leaders

You’re not lazy. You’re not checked out. You’re not doing anything wrong.

You’re actually doing everything right — working hard, solving problems, keeping up, showing up.

And somehow, you’re still getting overlooked.

Here’s what I’ve noticed after 20 years in HR leadership: the professionals who stay stuck aren’t the ones who aren’t working hard enough. They’re the ones who never stop long enough to ask why.

Why is this taking so long? Why does this keep breaking? Why am I the one chasing this down every single time?

That one question — why — is the difference between being a good employee and being seen as a leader.

Let me show you what I mean.

In one of my workshops, I use this example because almost every HR professional in the room has lived it: timesheets.

Every pay period, the same thing happens. Leaders don’t submit their timesheets by the deadline. HR has to chase them down — emails, follow-up emails, reminders, the occasional uncomfortable conversation. It’s frustrating, it’s time-consuming, and it happens again next pay period like clockwork.

Most HR professionals keep chasing. They get better at chasing. They build a more efficient chasing system.

But nobody stops to ask: why aren’t they submitting on time?

Because when you finally ask that question, everything changes. Maybe the system is cumbersome and takes too long — and the solution is a new system. Maybe the leaders were never properly trained — and the solution is a short training. Maybe the deadline falls in the middle of their busiest window of the week — and the solution is simply moving the deadline.

Three completely different problems. Three completely different solutions.

But you never find any of them if you’re too busy chasing to ask why.

That’s not a timesheet problem. That’s a leadership problem — and the shift from one to the other starts with curiosity.

This is the blind spot I see most often in high achievers: they’re so good at solving the problem in front of them that they never question whether they’re solving the right problem.

There are three places this shows up most:

In how you spend your time. If you’re regularly working late, constantly catching up, always behind — that’s not a badge of dedication. That’s a signal something is broken. Instead of pushing through it, ask: what’s actually driving these hours? Is it the task, the system, or my approach? Start tracking where your time goes. The patterns will show you things you can’t see when you’re just heads-down trying to keep up. And when you bring that data to your leader with a real observation — here’s what I’m seeing and here’s what I think we should look at — that’s a leadership conversation, not a complaint.

In how you solve problems. High achievers are fast. They see the problem, they fix it, they move on. But most of the time, the thing you can see is the symptom — not the cause. I once watched someone get trained on a reporting task where every week they’d pull a report and manually fix the same errors before sending it. They’d been doing it for months. Nobody had ever gone back to fix the actual report so the errors stopped happening. Somewhere along the line, someone decided this is just how it is — and it became part of the way of working. Leaders don’t accept that. Leaders get curious. They ask: why is this happening? Where did this start? Is it a tool issue or a human issue? What would it mean if we actually solved it?

In how you wait. If you’re holding back until someone gives you the green light — a title, a team, a formal assignment — you’re waiting for something that only comes after you’ve already started leading. Ask your leader directly what you can do to grow. Look for the friction your team lives with and remove it. Anticipate what’s needed before it’s needed. That proactive behavior is one of the clearest signals of leadership readiness — and most leaders notice it long before they say anything about it.

The shift I’m describing isn’t about working differently. It’s about thinking differently.

Employees come in and do the work.

Leaders come in and ask the questions that make the work better.

You don’t need a title to start asking better questions. You don’t need permission to get curious. You just need to lift your head up from the task long enough to ask why — and then be willing to do something with the answer.

That’s leading anyway.

Part 3 is coming — we’re going to talk about The Lead Anyway Framework: the three skills every individual contributor needs to master to be seen as a leader. Subscribe so you don’t miss it.

Ready to stop reading and start leading?

The Lead Anyway Toolkit — including the Leadership Behavior Audit and the 7-Day Challenge — is available exclusively for paid subscribers. If this resonated with you, the toolkit is your next step. Upgrade to the paid subscriber version today to get access!

Tough Conversations Aren’t So Tough When You Know How to Have Them

If you’ve ever avoided a tough conversation because you didn’t know how to start it, this is for you. Today I’m releasing two new resources exclusively for paid subscribers, built around one of the most avoided moments in leadership: the tough conversation.

As a paid subscriber, what you’ll get:

The Confident Conversation Guide — the exact framework, script, and what to do when the conversation doesn’t go as planned. What to say when Taylor cries. What to say when she gets angry. What to say when she shuts down completely. You’ll walk in prepared for all of it.

The Confident Conversation Prep Sheet — a fillable worksheet that walks you through every step before you enter the room. The facts, the outcome, the script starter and a pre-conversation checklist so nothing gets missed.

Both are attached in the Leadership Toolkit. Download them, save them, and use them the next time you find yourself putting off a conversation you know you need to have or share them with a leader who struggles with the tough conversations.

Most leaders avoid tough conversations because they don’t know how to have them. They don’t know how to start it without it feeling like an ambush. They don’t know how to address a behavior. They don’t want tears. They don’t want emotion. It all sounds like a really undesirable situation, why would they run towards the fire?

But the impact of not having those conversations is astronomical and it doesn’t stay contained to one person. It starts with your team. They’re watching. They see you accept behavior you shouldn’t, and they draw their own conclusions. If you don’t care, why should they? That’s when people start checking out: they show up late, do the bare minimum and look for the exit. Absenteeism goes up. Quality goes down. And productivity suffers.

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And it doesn’t stop at your team. When the leader next to you sees you letting it slide, that message spreads. Why should they hold their people accountable if you aren’t holding yours? One unaddressed behavior and avoided conversation, that ripple goes further than you think.

The reason why leaders hold off on having these conversations is because they are approaching it as a correction. And that just sounds uncomfortable. But that’s not what it is, “The end goal should be to walk out of the room, linked arm and arm (figuratively speaking, don’t touch your colleagues, please) with a plan to move forward.

How you start the conversation is what determines the outcome. Approaching it from a connecting and seeking to understand perspective, lowers both of your guards a bit. Finding something in common to connect on, maybe something at work like a big project you both just finished or something outside of work or even what you had for lunch that day…. connection first is everything.

You’re not coming into the meeting to immediately correct the behavior. Your desired outcome for this conversation is to connect with the employee, understand what’s going on and to leave the conversation united on the way forward. That doesn’t sound like a negative experience for anyone, if you ask me. And let’s look at the results outside of the room, after that conversation is had. You’re creating a much more pleasant environment for all of your employees. You’re showing that behavior matters, and that bad behavior will not be tolerated. You’re showing that you care. You’re setting expectations. You’re holding people accountable, including yourself because you’re being courageous and having that tough conversation. The benefits of this single conversation go a long way to preserve your team and organization’s culture.

The simple shift from “You did this” to “Help me understand what’s going on…” leads the conversation to becoming a point to connect. You’re seeing the person, you’re seeking to understand the person and their behavior. As humans, isn’t that all we want? People to want to understand us?

So, let’s look at how we have this conversation, a simple step-by-step:

1. Connect - find some common ground with the employee. Whether that be a big project you both are working on or just finished, something going on with the kids at home (if you both have kids), maybe a recent vacation or even what you had for lunch. Connecting over our terrible lunch right after lunch was always something we could agree on and laugh about because the cafeteria food was so bad. It truly made me realize I ate for sustenance and not enjoyment.

2. Approach the topic - Once the connection is complete, you can approach the topic “The reason I wanted to get some time with you is…” and this could go a couple of ways depending on if you witnessed the behavior yourself or you have been told about it. Regardless, lead with facts. Perceptions are ok to share, as it’s important for the employee to understand what the team is perceiving, but always share that it’s a perception and never mention any names. Never make assumptions, it’s important to enter the conversation with a lens of seeking to understand and improve, not with the approach that they are already guilty before you even speak with them.

   1. If you witnessed the behavior, it’s a much easier conversation, you can just say when, where and what you witnessed. “I wanted to chat about something I saw in the meeting on Tuesday. I noticed when Jamie asked a question, you shut it down pretty quickly. I wanted to understand what was going on there. Can you tell me about it?” This leaves the statement open-ended so the employee can speak about what happened, what they were thinking and feeling in that moment and why the behavior occurred. Maybe Jamie and the employee have been having conflict, but you weren’t aware of it, this allows that topic to surface. This works because it’s not accusatory, it’s not an immediate correction, it’s a seeking to understand from a place of care.

   2. If you didn’t witness the bad behavior, but have received consistent feedback from colleagues, it’s still valid — but you’ll need to frame it differently. Your goal here is to share the complaints without naming names or starting a he said/she said battle. We want to make sure we can maintain the relationships between the team members outside of this room. This is when you say “I’ve been hearing from multiple people on the team that they’re feeling some tension. I haven’t seen it myself, but I wanted to talk to you to understand what’s going on from your perspective. Is there anything going on that I should be aware of?”

Ask open ended questions to gain as much information as you can and not limit the employee to what they can share. Allow them plenty of time to talk, but ensure you focus on the situation at hand and not “well, David did this 6 months ago…” Let them share their own perspective, what they believe happened, what’s leading to the bad attitude, etc. Let them fill the silence. Don’t be uncomfortable when there is silence…it’s important for you to take a breath and let Taylor talk.

3. Gather the facts. Not feelings. What truly happened? Exact situations that were witnessed can take the person back to that event so they can share what was going on that day. Behavior is observable. Stick to what you saw or what has been specifically reported.

If others have complained, but you haven’t seen anything yourself, just stating that “some colleagues have shared that there’s a tension with you.” helps to open the dialog to understand what is going on. The more details you can give, the better, but if you are getting multiple complaints from the team, you should still seek to understand what you can. If you witnessed it yourself, you can say something like “In our team meeting on Monday, when David asked for clarification, you told him to figure it out himself.” This is specific and a great example for you both to reflect back on. Ask “What was going on there?”

4. Connect Again. This provides another opportunity for connection. If Taylor explains that there is something going on at home, you can help support her with sharing resources, maybe the EAP where there are free therapy sessions or if it’s something that occurred at work that frustrated her, seek to understand what that was and if you need to address it with others. Opening this dialog is the purpose for this conversation.

You’re the leader and your job is to create a safe, productive environment for everyone. Even if she’s the one that’s been getting the complaints, getting to the bottom of it helps everyone. For example, if David is harassing colleagues and that’s why Taylor is behaving this way, you’re uncovering a bigger situation that needs to go to HR. If Taylor is just having a bad time, ask how you can support her in easing her attitude or behavior. And she may not know today, but letting her know that you want to help could lead to her coming back a week from now to share something she thought of that could be helpful. Or she may never come back with anything, but the behavior improves.

The conversation doesn’t end with you delivering expectations and walking out. It ends with both of you in the room, figuring out the path forward, together. You set the expectation. Taylor owns the behavior. Together you build the plan to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

5. How do we move forward from here? This is a mentor having a conversation with someone they believe in — not a manager issuing a warning. The tone you bring into the room and the approach you take will determine whether Taylor opens up or shuts down. Approaching it from a space of concern such as “I noticed this and I want to understand it” lands very differently than “you’re doing this and it needs to stop.”

There could very well be a place for “this needs to stop.” But this first conversation isn’t it.

I think we put too much emphasis on the thought of having the tough conversation and not enough emphasis on how to actually have it in a way that isn’t accusatory, but supportive. Leaders who avoid these conversations do so because they were never taught how to actually have them. These conversations are just another workplace meeting that needs to happen to move forward in the right way. And some can say these are the most important workplace meetings.

Culture Isn’t What You Say, It’s What You Tolerate

Bill came to me one day looking for advice on a situation he was having with one of his employees.

“She’s my top performer,” he said. “I don’t want to lose her, but her behavior is…not great.”

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I asked him what “not great” meant.

“She snaps at people. She doesn’t share information. She’s just not a team player.”

I asked if this was new behavior or if it had always been the case.

He said it had always been the case. He thought it was just who she was and he could work with it. But now that his team was growing, it was becoming more and more evident that this was going to be a problem.

It’s not uncommon for leaders to protect their top performers and to accept their behavior for what it is. However, while this behavior is excused by the manager, the team is suffering. They walk on eggshells around Taylor. They bond over their struggles with her. They don’t understand why Taylor is seen as the top performer, when she behaves so poorly. They start to ask themselves questions like: Is this what the company wants from its employees? Should I behave that way to get ahead? Am I in the right place?

Leaders love people who get the work done. People they can count on. People they don’t have to chase. People they can trust to do the job they were hired to do.

But at what cost?

It’s not uncommon for leaders to protect their top performers, to just accept the behavior for what it is and keep moving. The work is getting done. The targets are being hit. Behavior feels subjective. And who wants to have a hard conversation with someone about their attitude?

So it gets put on the back burner. The leader tells themself they’ll address it later.

But while they’re looking the other way, their team is suffering.

Performance is what work gets done. Behavior is how the work gets done.

Both are required. Both are coachable. And both are a leader’s job.

Accepting one and ignoring the other isn’t leadership, it’s avoidance. Your employees should be expected to perform their role and maintain acceptable behavior. When either one slips, it’s the leader’s job to step in and understand what’s happening.

If something is going on personally, maybe time off or an EAP referral is the right move. If something is happening at work, it’s on the leader to address it. And if the behavior is simply who Taylor is and it’s not changing, then it may be time to part ways. Just because Taylor is great at what she does doesn’t mean you can’t find someone else who is great at the job and also treats people well. Sometimes the behavior is a signal that the role just isn’t the right fit anymore.

This isn’t just an HR problem. This is a leadership problem.

When you tolerate bad behavior, you are endorsing it. Your team sees it. People outside the team see it. And it slowly and quietly erodes the culture, until the damage is already done.

Culture isn’t what you say. It’s what you tolerate.

So what do you do?

As with any intentional conversation — first determine the desired outcome and work backwards. What do you want to achieve from the conversation? If this is a new behavior, start by seeking to understand. Pull Taylor in and ask how things are going. “I’ve noticed you’ve been short with your colleagues lately — what’s going on?”

That one question opens the door. It tells Taylor the behavior has been recognized. But it also tells her you care — that you’re not coming at her with a don’t do this again, you’re coming from a place of how do we fix this together.

You’re providing support. You’re leading.

The standard you set is the culture you get.

If you aren’t addressing these things when they happen, you’re showing your team that it doesn’t matter to you. Protecting your culture should be one of the most important things you do as a leader, it’s how things get done on your team and in your organization.

If you don’t protect it, you keep a revolving door of employees coming and going as they seek someone else who will protect the culture they value.

And the people walking out of it? They’re the ones you can’t afford to lose.

Leadership is Deciding What Gets Access to You

In 2005, I moved out of my hometown (a small western Pennsylvania steel town) to Pittsburgh for a job in Human Resources. My first real job in HR. I had been working a big girl job for 8 years prior, just not in HR. THIS was my first opportunity to dive in…

I took a pay cut to start my career. I would be working in downtown Pittsburgh.

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For a 28-year-old who had never been away from home like that, I was SO excited!! I hadn’t gone off to college, I was attending the local colleges and universities, so I had never left my hometown to live anywhere else, even temporarily.

But….that excitement started lessening…when I realized what city-living was…I started having to drive 13 miles to work…in traffic.

Living 13 miles outside of the city, that’s nothing, right?

Oh, it’s something…and not to mention the 3-4 lanes of traffic turning into 2 lanes to go through the tunnels entering the city…I really had no idea what traffic was because we didn’t have traffic where I was from, we had cow crossings. I had experienced it traveling, but it didn’t register too much because it was always a one-off and I was usually going on vacation, so a bit of a different energy than going to work.

Photo by Lou Barros on Unsplash

So, my new drive for 13 miles took me 1 hour to get to work. Previously, I never drove more than 20 minutes to work, most recently it was 5 minutes, because I had moved much closer. So, this was an adjustment….

But…that wasn’t all…then I realized I had to pay to park….I’m sorry? I’m paying to go to work? Aren’t you supposed to make money when you go to work? I hate work. I don’t even want to go to work. Now I have to pay to go?!? What in the actual world? Who lives like this?!?!

This was beyond crazy to me….but…lo and behold, it got crazier…in order to afford parking, I had to park across a river and walk across the Smithfield bridge everyday, in all the weather…all year around. And let me remind you that Pittsburgh isn’t known for sunshine and 80 degrees every day. My umbrella would blow inside out on rainy days…and I hated umbrellas to begin with…it was like I entered an alternate universe when I moved, what in the actual hell is going on?

The repeated question: How do people live like this?!?

Then….the drive home, I would always almost have a heart attack as we would be driving 65 and then come to a complete stop on a 4 lane highway. I swore I was going to die on that road. I didn’t understand traffic or how it worked, if we were all trying to get somewhere, why did we stop? If there was no accident, couldn’t everyone just keep moving and get the hell out of the way? We were already through the tunnel, it was smooth sailing from there…or it should have been…

So, as you can imagine, adjusting to all of these things at one time was….challenging. Then I made sure to read not only the Pittsburgh news, but also the news from back home. And it wasn’t just one newspaper, it was the newspaper, the news station, national news…you name it, I was obsessed with it. I think I thought reading the news from back home was comforting, keeping me in the know…but then I just became sad.

I didn’t know what was going on.

Randomly, I broke down in tears in my gynecologist’s office. (Of all places) I had no idea why. She gave me a card for a therapist. I called the therapist and could barely talk. She asked what was going on and I said “I’m just sad.”

So, a few appointments later, I received an anxiety and depression diagnosis and medication to start.

I had to accept the work. It was great exposure to HR and giving me the experience I needed. The people were all amazing. It was so cool to meet all of these great people in the city. The energy was a different level. No one was involved in everyone else’s business, everyone just focused on their own lives. It was refreshing, really. And once I was there, in the building, work was great!

I had to accept the commute, at some point, it just became a way of life. It was part of my day. BUT…I didn’t have to accept that damn bridge, my colleagues told me about a shuttle that ran at the other parking lot that would drive me across that damn bridge. So, I found that and happily rode the shuttle every day, which dropped me off less than 1/2 a block from the front door of my work. Things were looking up.

At some point in early 2006, I realized the negative impact the news was having on my energy. I would come to work in a good mood and then go to the news site and my energy would just…deplete. So I stopped.

Removing the news was the best thing I ever did for myself and it was something that stuck. Every once in a while I would be reminded of how negative it was when I went looking for something I had heard about, it was randomly on at a relative’s house or the TV was just on at my house when the news came on…I can remember thinking “Oh my gosh, everything is awful!” I would turn off the TV and turn on music. My house was filled with music for years, and still is a lot of the time. Though, lately, I’ve come to enjoy silence.

Fast forward to 2017…I’m living in South Carolina, waking up to go to work. I worked for a start-up auto manufacturer at the time. And I had an early call from one of my state partners…he said “Do you know anything about the article in the newspaper?”

I replied, “huh? what article?”

That morning, a local article was printed that said 25% of our applicants were failing drug tests.

I was the Talent Acquisition Manager.

I knew the numbers.

That wasn’t even close to being accurate.

And no one even asked.

Turns out the reporter had been sitting in a presentation where the plant manager used a funnel with placeholder numbers, just an example of what the hiring process could look like. Those made-up numbers became a real headline about drugs in our applicant pool.

That article showed me, first-hand, that the truth doesn’t have to exist for a juicy story to be printed. That was the day I no longer saw integrity in news reporting.

And it further validated why I had gotten so protective of what I ingest. Not because I can’t handle reality, but because I want to stay positive and actually live in my reality, not the one manufactured for clicks.

Now, I turn on the news if a hurricane is coming, but that’s about the only time. And even then, I take what they say with a grain of salt because every impending disaster is world-ending.

I prepare, I stay alert, but I don’t panic.

I have become much more aware of my feelings and the importance of protecting my own energy as I have gotten older. And the news is something I left behind a long time ago, as I experienced first-hand the inaccuracies that can be printed as well as the shift in energy after being exposed to it. People are usually shocked when I say I don’t watch the news. But, I made it! I’m still alive and well over here. And in a much more positive mindset because of it.

Life is hard enough without filling our minds with dread, terror and negativity about things that aren’t even true. My job as a leader and as a human is to stay grounded in my own reality, to make a positive impact where I can and to decide what actually gets access to me.

HR Reality Check: Is This Really What It’s Like to be an HRBP?

My newest segment of my Intentional HR Leader podcast: HR Reality Check. This is where I take real HR situations and break down what’s actually going on and how to approach it as a leader. My goal in this segment is to support HR professionals who may be struggling with similar situations and to give you a taste of what my coaching and mentorship style is…so this one is advice for a new overwhelmed HRBP.

They write:

“I’ve been an HRBP for almost a year now in healthcare, and the workload has been crushing me since the very beginning. I have three years of generalist experience prior to this position and was so excited to level up, but was unprepared for the fact that I’d be working long hours and weekends just to keep up.

I only manage about 300 employees, but I’m getting more emails and messages than I’ve ever seen in my life. My work covers the whole employee cycle including recruitment, employee relations, title, compensation, reorgs, offboarding, you name it. The only thing that’s outsourced is payroll and benefits. I’m constantly anxious, stressed, thinking about work even when I’m not working because I have so much to do all the time and so many people need things from me.

On top of this, I have a coworker who is also an HRBP. That manages other employees also in my departments. So we work together a lot and are in chats and meetings with leadership together. They’ve been around a long time and are honestly the most type A person I’ve ever met. They’ll respond to chats and emails in seconds. I’m not even kidding. I have to admit it’s impressive and I have no idea how they do it.

This characteristic does, however, cause some issues for me because they’ll start group chats with our boss or leaders we support about things and I’m not able to respond right away because I’m in back to back meetings, not quick enough compared to them, or simply prioritizing something more time sensitive.

The conversation will get carried away without me having the opportunity to jump in and share thoughtful feedback or guidance. I feel like it looks bad on me for being completely quiet in the chat, but I’m genuinely doing more important things.

I’ve tried getting ahead of it by separately messaging them that I’ll respond to something, but I have to be immediate or they’ll get carried away and it’s so frustrating.

What are successful ways you’ve found to manage a heavy workload, tight deadlines, demanding managers, and also allow yourself work-life balance? Or is this just the life of an HR BP? And what are your best recommendations for managing an overwhelmingly heavy email inbox?

I’m curious if there’s ways I can improve my current process and any advice on how I can work more collaboratively with my coworker.”

My response:

Everything that was described in this question is the difference between strategic HR and tactical hr, and it sounds like the coworker is operating tactically. And no, this is not just HRBP work…it’s a lack of structure, boundaries and leadership alignment.

If the same types of issues keep coming across your desk, that’s not your workload, it’s your system telling you something is broken or doesn’t exist at all.

When I work with my clients, I always suggest three buckets:

The first one is reactive, what are you reacting to that is coming across your desk? What just shows up each day? This could be operational tasks like address changes, payroll questions, employee issues, etc. These are things that are unplanned, but do fall under HR.

But…it could also be things that aren’t HR? One of my clients gets plumbing questions…and that’s not HR, so it needs to be re-routed, but for now, we are just creating the buckets. So, we put it in the reactive bucket…

Then we look at the next bucket, operational - these are the things you have to do each day or week that are scheduled. Maybe it’s a team meeting, maybe it’s reviewing attendance…these are the things that you have planned. Things that go into this bucket include: recruiting - reviewing resumes, scheduling interviews, offer creation/approvals, onboarding - new hire paperwork/process completion, orientation and offboarding scheduling exit interviews/conversations and logistics to ensure the employee is out-processed, equipment is returned, system access removal, etc. None of this work is wrong, it’s operational HR and necessary, but the problem is that this is all you have time for…if your entire week is consumed by keeping things moving, you’ll never have the space to improve how things work.

Operational work should run on a cadence. Reactive work should be filtered by systems and strategic work should be protected.

It’s not that you just need to get better at managing all of this, it’s that you need to change how your work is structured, owned and how people have access to you.

The final bucket is strategic…what actually moves the needle. What is going into the strategic bucket? These are things that you are working on that aren’t a quick update to a policy, but are program or project based, maybe you’re implementing a new performance management program and rolling that out next year, but you’re working on the project now or maybe a new attendance incentive program. These aren’t tasks, these are projects that take time and have steps. They aren’t done in 1 hour. These are the things you are designing better outcomes for, using the Intentional HR leader framework, not reacting to problems…defining what good looks like and working backwards, this could be performance, culture, accountability…for example, not chasing timesheets, but designing a system where they are submitted on time without HR involvement.

This could include any systems or processes you’re building, like creating intake processes for HR requests, standardizing how work shows up to HR and reducing the dependency on HR for every decision. This is where you stop being the system and you actually build the system, putting these types of things in place can reduce 50% of your reactive workload long-term. The key is having the time to do these things.

Operational HR keeps things running while Strategic HR changes how things run.

If your work doesn’t reduce future problems, it’s not strategic yet.

You want

• to be seen as strategic

• to have influence

• to stop being reactive

But you’re stuck because:

• you don’t have space

• you don’t have structure

• you don’t know where to start

Strategic work doesn’t get added on top of what you already have to do, it replaces the work that shouldn’t be on your desk in the first place.

And then finally, in regards to the coworker, this is going to be the most challenging part because this person has been doing this work for a while, as stated, so they are used to functioning in this reactive capacity.

I would recommend daily or weekly meetings to share information, priorities and to discuss the best way to approach certain situations or to divide work. Determine a plan or since they have been there for a while, ask how they handle it the workload. Keep in mind, though you’re watching them react. They aren’t moving the needle. Your ultimate goal should be to get a plan of action in place on how to stop having to react to everything and for both of you to start leading your work.

Utilize them to help you build the strategy and the system. Ask them what their process is. Seek to understand how they handle these things because they were clearly in your shoes at one point in time. I would get their insight. Not only will it shed light for you, it will also make them feel valued. By asking them for advice and support on your overwhelm, you can work on a better way to work together. But by actually asking them and, and talking to them and, and understanding how they’re working, that will go a long way in building trust.

“That’s your HR Reality Check.

This is what happens when everything has access to you. And the shift is deciding what actually deserves your time, then ultimately building your role around that.

That’s the difference between reactive HR and intentional HR. If you’re reading this and thinking, ‘this is exactly where I am’—constantly reacting, overwhelmed, and trying to figure it out on your own—this is exactly the work we do inside my Intentional HR Leadership Coaching program.

This isn’t more HR training. This is where you learn how to lead—how to think strategically, communicate with clarity, and to stop being the default for everything.

If you’re ready to make that shift, the first step is a Reactive to Strategic Audit call where we determine how much you are reacting vs. leading and what areas you need the support.

Stop Being the Default for Everything

In this article on What HR Was Never Taught, up until now, we’ve been talking about the reactive pattern…how everything comes to you, why you’re constantly reacting and how being helpful is actually reinforcing that cycle.

So in this article, I want to shift us into: What actually starts to change this.

Because being aware is important…but awareness alone doesn’t change your day-to-day reality. What actually changes things…Is structure. If I could have every HR Department of 1 implement one thing…It would be A way for work to come to you that doesn’t rely on direct access to you.

Right now, most of the work in your role probably comes to you through:

• someone sends a Slacks or Teams message

• or a quick email or text

• stops by your desk/office

• brings something up in a meeting

It’s immediate and unfiltered, and it puts you in a position where you feel like you need to respond….immediately, but the thing not everything should come directly to you. And I know that might feel uncomfortable at first because you’re used to being accessible and helpful. You’re used to being the one people go to. The one they can count on to help them. But that’s also what’s keeping you in reaction mode.

You are not the system. Your job is actually to build the system. And that’s not a bad thing, you are empowering people. Not turning them away, but what starts to change everything…is when there is a structure for how requests are getting to you.

Instead of:

• random messages

• interruptions

• things being handed to you in the moment

There’s a defined way for work to come in.

That could look like:

• a request form

• an intake process

• a clear expectation of how and when to bring things to HR

And the purpose isn’t to create more work. It’s to create space between you… and everything coming at you. When there’s space…you can think, prioritize and decide what actually needs your attention now.

And that’s where strategy begins.

Right now, without that structure…everything feels like it needs your attention immediately. But with even a simple system in place…not everything reaches you the same way, ultimately calming your nervous system and not everything feels urgent anymore.

One of the things I’m working on in my own life is the need to respond. I feel like I always need to respond and I really don’t….that’s just a feeling…and if I stay in my lane, I realize that not everything requires a response right now, or maybe even ever.

So, I want you to realize that systems don’t just organize your work—they change your role. They shift you from: reactive to intentional and from being accessible to everting to being focused on what truly matters and what can move the needle. This isn’t something that gets solved overnight, nor is it about just putting a form in place and calling it done.

It’s real work and it’s:

• defining what should come to you

• how it should come to you

• and what you do with it once it does

And this is where most HR Departments of 1 get stuck…because it’s not just about having a system. It’s about building the right system for your role and your organization.

In the next article, we’re going to talk about what this actually creates…and what changes when you stop being the default for everything. Because this isn’t just about having fewer interruptions, it’s about being seen and operating as a strategic leader.

And that shift is bigger than most people realize. That’s the difference between reactive HR and intentional HR. And if you’re ready to make that shift, this is exactly the work I do with my clients. If you’re reading this and thinking, ‘this is exactly where I am’—constantly reacting, overwhelmed, and trying to figure it out on your own—this is exactly the work we do inside my Intentional HR Leadership program.

It’s not more HR training. This is where you learn how to lead—how to think strategically, communicate with clarity, and stop being the default for everything.

And if you want to actually look at your specific situation and figure out where you can start shifting out of reaction mode, I offer Reactive to Strategic HR Audit calls.

It’s a really practical conversation focused on your role, your challenges, and what’s actually possible for you.

What Strategic HR Actually Means

Let’s continue our talk about What HR Was Never Taught where we discuss the gap between what HR is taught… and what the role actually requires. If you’ve ever been told to be more strategic, but feel stuck reacting all day—you’re in the right place.

In the last article, I talked about how HR is expected to be strategic… but most HR roles are built for reaction. And then the bigger problem…no one actually tells you what ‘being strategic’ even means. You just hear it over and over again—‘be more strategic’—but what does that actually look like in your day-to-day work?”

You manage performance reviews; you’re told to be more strategic.

You get leadership feedback telling you to think bigger.

Your job description says you’re a “strategic partner.”

And you’re sitting here thinking…ok, but what does that actually mean when I have 50 things coming at me today?

We tend to think if we handle those 50 things, we’re being a strategic partner because those 50 things didn’t become anyone else’s problem, right?

Well, yes….but also no…

I heard all of these terms and even heard them when I was getting my certification, but no one ever told me how to actually be that strategic partner…I remember thinking I must be missing something…like there was a class or training that everyone else took that I didn’t. I’ve always gone to school or read books…but I couldn’t find anything that would lead me out of the constant reaction as an HR department of 1.

Let me help you understand the difference that took me a long time to realize:

Reactive HR includes

• Solving what’s in front of you

• Responding to problems

• Focusing on everything urgent

While Strategic HR is

• Thinking ahead

• Identifying patterns that require systems

• Having influence on decisions before they create bigger problems

Strategic doesn’t mean doing more, it means thinking differently about the work you’re already doing.

The real issue is that your HR degrees and certifications just teach you how to do the job, so technically, they teach you to react…how to handle what comes across your desk. You learn the laws, you learn about performance management, but you don’t learn how to think strategically.

Strategy is a skill. And it’s not taught in textbooks.

Instead of asking “ok, what do I do with this issue that came across my desk?” Start asking “Why does this issue keep coming across my desk?

Let me give you an example…..maybe employees are coming to you because they keep hearing a rumor that the pay periods are going to change and they want information because that’s a big deal for them.

This week, you have had 3 employees come to you and ask the question…apparently what you discussed in the leadership meeting got out somehow, you have a leak…the best way to approach this is to let your leadership team know that there’s a leak and your CEO or GM should be addressing that with the team to talk about confidentiality, but a way for you to stop the mad dash to your office asking about pay period changes is to create a communication. Maybe you are talking about changing the pay periods, but it won’t happen until 2027. A communication as simple as “we are reviewing changing our pay periods to get everyone on the same pay cycle, a decision has not yet been made to do this, but we are reviewing it. Please rest assured that the company understands that this will have a direct impact on our employees and we will do everything in our power to minimize that impact, as well as to communicate any plans as soon as they are finalized so everyone is able to prepare accordingly.

Have leadership review this, explain that you are trying to minimize the traffic to your office about this topic and once approved, send out the communication and have supervisors share it with their teams.

Strategic HR isn’t about having a different role. It’s about seeing your role differently. In the next article, I’ll be talking about why you can feel busy all day and still not feel like you’re done anything strategic.

Be More Strategic….but When?

If you’ve ever been told to be more strategic in your HR role… but your entire day is spent reacting to whatever comes across your desk…that’s the reality of most HR professionals, especially HR Departments of One.

Welcome to What HR Was Never Taught - a Podcast series about the things no one told you when you got into HR.

Because somewhere along the way, HR professionals started being told to be strategic…to think bigger….to have a seat at the table…but no one actually showed us how to do that, especially while we’re juggling everything that comes at us every single day.

So, if you’ve ever felt stuck reacting, but expected to be strategic…you’re not alone.

And more importantly…you’re not doing it wrong….

In this podcast series, I’m going to share what I’ve learned through my own 20+ years of HR experience, what actually works and the shifts that can help you start thinking and showing up differently in your role.

This isn’t what you learn with your HR degree or HR certification. It’s real life, real situations and real conversations that HR was never taught.

“Because I want to talk about something no one really ever says or even understands—HR is being asked to be strategic, but most HR roles are actually designed for reaction.”

When I was an HR Department of 1, I can remember my days included:

• Benefits Questions

• Employee Issues

• Leadership Questions

• Payroll Questions

• Payroll Processing

• Performance Management

• Meetings

• Attendance

• Reporting

• Open Enrollment

• Filling in for the receptionist when they were out

• Chasing leaders for timesheets

• Training and Development

• Compliance

• Safety

• Workers Compensation

• Succession Planning

• Recruiting

• Job Mapping

• Job Description Creation and review

• Random drug testing

• Company Newsletters

• Pay Increases

• Employee Changes

• And whatever else I missed that also showed up at my desk

I remember feeling like my entire day was spent putting out fires and then being told I needed to be more strategic and I wondered what in the world that even meant, because I wasn’t slacking. I was doing my job and working REALLY hard.

And something else I see with a lot of my clients…As an HR Department of 1…you can tend to also be the intake system for your entire company. And what I mean by that is…Everything comes to you. Emails. People stopping by your desk. Quick questions that turn into bigger problems. How many times have we had a quick question inform us of something else we didn’t even know was happening that isn’t ok? So instead of just that quick question, we add 5 more things to our plate? This can be things that have nothing to do with HR…and things that technically do—but shouldn’t all require you.

You’ve become the place where everything lands. Not because someone decided that intentionally…

but because there’s no other structure. So it just… defaults to you.

Someone has a question?

They come to you.

Something breaks?

It gets routed to you.

A manager doesn’t know how to handle a situation.

They ask you.

A process doesn’t exist.

You’re expected to figure it out.

And over time… this becomes normal.

You become known as:

• the helpful one

• the responsive one

• the one who “just handles it”

But what’s actually happening underneath that…

You’re not just doing HR anymore.

You’ve become the intake system for everything no one else owns.

And the problem with that is…

If everything comes to you, everything becomes your responsibility.

Not because it should be.

But because that’s how it’s currently structured.

Or more accurately…Not structured.

Most HR professionals I talk to think they’re overwhelmed because:

• there’s too much to do

• they need to prioritize better

• they need to manage their time differently

But that’s not actually the root of the problem.

The real problem is:

There’s no system for how work gets to you—so you’ve become the system.

And when you are the system…

Everything feels urgent, personal and like it requires your response.

So of course you’re reacting all day.

How could you not be?

And the hardest part is…

You do this because you really do care.

You want to be helpful.

You want to support people.

You want things to run well.

But without structure…

That helpfulness turns into over-functioning.

And over-functioning turns into constant reaction.

You start wondering…

• “Why can’t I get ahead?”

• “Why does everything feel urgent?”

• “Why am I constantly putting out fires?”

But…even though you’re working hard, you’re not working hard on the right things. you can’t be strategic if you are always in reaction mode.

Being strategic requires space, the ability to think ahead and time you actually don’t have.

It’s not that you don’t know how to be strategic, it’s that HR roles weren’t and honestly still aren’t setup to be strategic at a lot of companies. They are setup as support functions 99% of the time…the place where employee stuff is handled.

The problem isn’t you. You’ve proven your capable of doing the work, you have the HR experience and you know what you’re doing, you’ve just been operating in a system that prioritizes reaction over strategy.

One small shift you can take today…awareness. Because when we start to be aware, we start to view things differently.

So today, start noticing how often you are reacting versus choosing to work on….and before you respond to something, pause and ask yourself “is this actually strategic or just urgent?”

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot, because I see so many HR professionals being asked to step into strategy without being given the space to do it.

If this resonated with you, I’d love for you to keep listening, because we are going to keep unpacking what HR was never really taught…

And if you know someone who wants to move from reactive to strategic, this is exactly the work that I’m starting to build.

And at one point, I was the HR Department for 3 separate companies under the same umbrella with 4 locations, so you can imagine how that went…multiply the above list by 4.

“If this made you think, or you found yourself saying ‘yes, this is exactly it’—you’re in the right place.

We’re going to keep unpacking what HR was never taught… and what actually works in real life.

Accountability: The Leadership Skill that Changes Everything

 Hey there, and welcome to the Strategic Minute Podcast. I’m Danielle, HR and leadership coach and advisor. This is where we take one leadership skill at a time, break it down into what it actually looks like in your day-to-day work, because leadership isn’t something you learn once. It’s something you build over time through real examples, practical shifts and honest conversations.

I’ll help you move from reacting to leading with more clarity, confidence, and intention.

Let’s get into this week’s topic. We’re talking about accountability. Something to remember, because it’s important: Accountability is not a personality trait. When someone lacks accountability, what they usually lack is one of four things:

• Clarity

• Structure

• Confidence

• Courage

So if you’re listening to this and you’re thinking, why is this so hard for me or for my team? That’s where I want you to start.

At its core accountability. Accountability is simple. It’s owning your commitments and ensuring others do the same. It’s taking responsibility for your actions, your decisions and the outcomes that come from them, even when they don’t go as planned.

And if we’re being honest, this is where it gets uncomfortable because accountability makes you visible, it puts you in a spotlight, in a position where people can question you, challenge you, or disagree with you. And in HR where you’re already navigating so much pressure, so many emotions and competing priorities, that can feel like a lot.

But here’s what I want you to understand: Accountability builds trust faster than anything else. When your team knows that you’re going to own your decisions, you’re going to stand behind your strategy and you won’t shift blame when things go wrong. They trust you. And when trust is there. Everything else gets easier.

Let me give you a real example. When I was leading talent acquisition, we had aggressive hiring goals, hundreds of hires. Instead of chasing my team all day for updates to take to meetings, which I know many of you are doing right now, we built accountability into the work. We used a simple whiteboard. How many offers were extended, how many starts were scheduled? Where each candidate was in the process. The total number of people in the pipeline updated daily at the end of the day. So when we came in the next morning, I had all of the information I needed to go to my meetings. There was no chasing, there was no constant check-ins. Everyone could see where we stood, even outside of the team, if they were interested.

That’s accountability with structure. Now compare that to what I see all the time: HR is chasing…time sheets, performance follow-ups, documentation, basic manager responsibilities. And if that’s you, you’re not doing anything wrong, you are stuck in a system that’s missing accountability. When I give my intentional HR leadership workshops, I always have attendees complete a leadership reflection prior to the workshop to gauge where they are and ensure I’m adding value.

Those leadership reflections showed me that 61% of HR professionals said they’re stuck shifting from reactive to strategic. And many said they’re solving everyone else’s problems all day and struggling to work on their own priorities. It’s not a time management issue. That’s an accountability gap.

Let’s look at an example that we all can probably relate to… time sheets. The problem is that managers aren’t submitting their time sheets on time. So what happens? HR sends reminders and more reminders and then starts chasing people. But the reminders and the chasing aren’t the real problem.

They’re HR’s problem. But the real problem is lack of accountability. If leaders don’t know when timesheets are due or if they turned them in late before and you were okay with that, no one owns the task. They think they can turn them in late again and it will be ok.

Whose responsibility is the time sheets? The time sheets should be the leader’s responsibility, but no one’s holding them accountable. There are no consequences. So accountability could sound like “time sheets are due Friday at noon. If they’re late, your leader is notified.” Now ownership shifts back to where it belongs. If that sounds aggressive to you, then you’re part of the problem. Holding people accountable should not feel aggressive. It should feel strategic and it’s actually what you are paid to do. Holding people accountable should feel like you’re trying to get results.

Here’s another example, performance issues: A supervisor comes to you and says, I have an employee with attendance issues. What should I do?

Reactive HR would tell them exactly what to do You would tell them, hold them accountable to the attendance policy. Where are they with attendance issues? What have you done so far? But, that’s all reactive leadership. Accountable, intentional leadership would say, what outcome are you trying to achieve here? How have you addressed it so far? And what do you think the next step is? You’re not avoiding helping them, you ARE helping them. You’re building THEIR accountability. And the more you ask these questions, the more likely they are to start asking themselves these same questions before they come to you.

And finally, let’s look at personal accountability. You say you’re going to speak up in a leadership meeting, address a behavior issue or set a boundary and then you don’t. It’s not a capability issue because you know what needs to happen. It’s usually confidence or courage. And I see this a lot in those leadership reflections too. Fear of speaking up, a lack of confidence in decisions, hesitation with senior leadership.

That’s accountability to yourself. You need to hold yourself accountable before you can hold anyone else accountable. And as we mentioned, accountability builds trust faster than anything. So let’s talk about why accountability breaks down because it’s not random. It can break down when we focus on tasks and not outcomes. People can stay busy, but they’re not moving anything forward.

For example, we say we want to improve engagement, but what does that even mean? How do we know we have improved engagement? How do we know we didn’t? But if we say we want to increase the engagement score from 65 to 75 in 90 days improving engagement is the activity. Measurably aiming to increase the engagement score by 10 and 90 days is accountability. That’s where we can hold ourselves accountable to where we were and what we achieved.

Another reason why accountability breaks down is we have a fear of making mistakes. Perfectionism shows up. It shows up when we delay things or we procrastinate. Perfectionists are the worst procrastinators when we overthink things. Just do it. What’s the worst that could happen? And when we avoid things altogether, and in HR, this gets amplified because the stakes feel high. And honestly, they are, but they’re even higher when you avoid accountability, it doesn’t protect you. It just slows everything down, creates chaos. Where there could be calm, people are still questioning things. Things weren’t implemented. Why weren’t things implemented?

A lack of clarity is another reason why accountability breaks down. If people don’t know what’s expected, what good looks like, or what happens if they don’t do it, they can’t be held accountable, and this is one of the biggest gaps I see. Setting clear expectations and ensuring understanding is so important if you have accountability built into your process. If people don’t understand the expectations, they’re going to ask. Because they don’t want come out at the end being held accountable for something they didn’t do or know to do.

And finally, the most common avoidance is hard conversations, this is a big one. We delay tough conversations because they aren’t comfortable. We don’t want conflict. We don’t want to be the bad guy. We hope it will fix itself somehow. That if we ignore it, it’ll go away, but it doesn’t. And honestly, it gets more expensive both emotionally and operationally, the longer we wait. If we don’t address something immediately and we let it fester, that behavior becomes okay because we didn’t address it and trust me, it spreads faster than anything when your team sees you not addressing something when it happened the first time, then everybody else will start having that same behavior or other behaviors start because if that one is ok, this one must be, too. We need to make sure that we address things immediately if it’s not okay. How do we do that?

First, we define the outcome. What does working actually look like? What is the measurable end goal? Not vaguely. We want to be specific, remember smart goals. That’s our end goal. Second, we want to build the structure. What needs to be in place for us to achieve the desired outcome? What behavior needs to change. What expectations need to be set? We want to make sure there are clear expectations, there’s simple systems, and there’s visible progress. If we weave accountability through the project, we see the progress.

Third, put accountability markers in place, whether that’s through follow-up visibility or whatever works, depending upon your circumstances. This way, you’re gauging accountability, not just when something goes wrong. It’s not reactive, it’s built into the process and how you lead. So set a tone, maybe that’s status updates every Wednesday.

What do you want included in those status updates? Not only are you identifying gaps and giving yourself the ability to do damage control before things get out of control, but you’re also instilling accountability in your team. So, as they grow and develop in their careers, they can carry that sense of accountability with them.

Be careful though. This could be seen as micromanaging, so make sure you do it in a way that shows accountability and not insecurity and lack of trust. Holding yourself visibly accountable is a great first step to build that trust and showing how important it is for accountability to exist at every level.

Another idea, when you have a big project, let your team take ownership in establishing how accountability can be shown as milestones are reached in that project. Stop over-functioning: this one might sting a little, but if you’re fixing everything, answering every question and stepping in every time you’re training your organization to depend on you. And that’s why you’re overwhelmed. Start asking those valuable questions that we shared a little while ago. What outcome are you trying to achieve? How have you addressed it so far? And what do you think the next next step is?

Accountability issues are more often than not leadership issues in disguise. They stem from unclear expectations, inconsistent follow up, avoiding hard conversations, and doing too much for others. And I want to leave you with accountability isn’t about pushing harder, it’s about leading more clearly. So, here’s a reflection for this week: what’s one thing that keeps landing on your desk that shouldn’t be yours to own? And instead of solving it again, ask, what’s the desired outcome? What’s missing? Where should accountability actually live with this task? That’s how you move from reacting to leading.

Some other accountability challenges that you can implement this week. Are you working on a project but you’re unsure why? Establish clear goals. Get clarification. Ask questions. Before you take accountability for anything you need to know what’s expected. Have a set of clear goals that specifically state the outcome desired and define your target result, giving you a clear picture of what success looks like.

Goals help focus time and effort and make things more fair. They provide an objective way to measure success. Set smart goals for projects you take on.

Are you a procrastinator? Procrastination is a common way of avoiding responsibility or putting off dealing with a situation. Often it means someone else has to take responsibility and others may start to see you as unreliable. Identify why you procrastinate. As I mentioned, perfectionists are the biggest procrastinators. Stop waiting for everything to be perfect.

Are you slow to act because you don’t think you’re up to the task? Talk with someone who will help you boost your confidence.

Are you waiting until you have all the information to get started? Start doing the things you can with the resources that you have.

Find it too overwhelming? Break it down into smaller, more manageable chunks. Commit to doing one piece a day.

Find the task boring. Focus on the sense of achievement you’ll have after it’s complete. And honestly, those tasks that we think about that are so boring that we put off over and over and over again. The amount of time we think about them and dread them, we could have had them done, a few times.

Once you understand why you put things off, you can take the steps to fix the problem. Before we wrap up, here’s something to reflect on. What’s one thing that’s showing up in your work right now that might need to be led differently? A hill I’ll die on is that leadership development isn’t a one and done training It’s built through how you show up everyday, what you practice and what you’re willing to shift over time. You learn, practice, reflect and refine, as with any skill.

This is exactly the work we do inside HR Ally, supporting HR professionals in moving from reacting to leading with clarity and confidence. If this resonated, become a founding member!

If you liked this, these podcasts, weekly leadership challenges and more will be a part of our paid membership program starting next week.

From Firefighting to Frameworks

Human Resources was built without structure.

How many times have we watched everything fall onto HR?

Safety. If there is no safety manager, HR becomes the first call.

Facilities. If something in the building isn’t working, HR gets the call.

Lost property. If an item has no clear owner, it somehow ends up in HR.

These examples may seem small, but they reveal something much bigger.

Over time, HR has become the organizational catch-all — not because the function lacks importance, but because the systems around it lack boundaries.

After more than 20 years in HR, I’ve seen this repeatedly, both in my own roles and in the roles of my clients. When everything flows to one department, urgency becomes that department’s identity. And when urgency becomes identity, firefighting becomes inevitable.

Most HR professionals are trained to solve problems quickly. We are wired to respond, protect and ensure people are supported so productivity isn’t disrupted. But, what we are rarely taught is how to design systems that prevent the reactivity in the first place.

Strategy isn’t responding better, It’s redesigning what keeps landing on your desk.

The Firefighting Loop

What most HR leaders experience isn’t random chaos, it’s predictable.

I call it The Firefighting Loop.

1. Undefined Boundaries

When the borders of the HR function aren’t clearly defined, HR becomes the default owner of issues that were never structurally assigned.

2. Constant Interruption

When people don’t know where something belongs, they bring it to HR. The operational noise begins to override the ability to plan long-term work.

3. Immediate Response Is Rewarded

Quick problem-solving is praised. We feel helpful, and the person walking away feels relieved. But every time we solve something that shouldn’t have been ours to solve, we reinforce the behavior. We train the organization to bring everything to HR.

4. Capacity Erodes

When every day is spent reacting to incoming problems, there is no space left for the strategic work the role actually requires.

5. Reactivity Becomes Your Identity

Eventually the organization associates HR with urgency. And that becomes the expectation. HR becomes the department that handles whatever problem no one else knows what to do with.

And the cycle repeats.

The Firefighting Loop isn’t caused by incompetence.

It’s reinforced by structure.

When the system rewards response over redesign, the HR function will always be reactive.

From Firefighting to Frameworks

Breaking this loop requires one critical shift: Strategic Containment

Strategic containment is the ability to:

• Define ownership clearly

• Absorb predictable complexity structurally

• Design processes that prevent recurring escalation

• Protect time for long-term thinking

This is not a time management issue.

It’s a system design issue.

Strategic Calibration Questions

If you want to step out of the firefighting loop, start with these questions:

• What recurring issue has appeared more than twice in the last quarter?

• Where have you absorbed responsibility without structural authority?

• What would redesigning this look like instead of responding to it?

Because strategic HR isn’t about answering every question that lands on your desk.

It’s about designing the systems that prevent the question from being asked in the first place.

Shifting from firefighting to frameworks is exactly the work I focus on with HR leaders inside my Intentional HR Leader program. Because most HR professionals were trained to respond to problems, not redesign the systems creating them.

HR is a People Job, So Why Does It Feel So Lonely

On paper, HR looks like the most people-centered role in the organization. You’re surrounded by employees, leaders and executives all day long. You’re in conversations, meetings and decisions that shape the workplace.

Yet many HR leaders quietly experience something very different:

You’re close to everyone…but you don’t fully belong anywhere.

You hold confidential information you can’t share.

You sit with the emotional weight of other people’s crises.

You help make decisions that affect livelihoods, then walk back to your desk and continue your day as if nothing happened.

And most of the time, you carry it alone.

HR leaders often sit in a strange space inside organizations— close to everyone, yet truly belonging nowhere. No one knows where to put us. I sat at a round table in the corner of a room with 3 other people who had cubicles (I did not) outside of the owner’s office at one point. Eventually, I got a nice office right off of the manufacturing floor, but the organization really doesn’t know what to do with HR. I also sat in a dark room on the 1st floor of a building with 15 other HR professionals, with no separation, cubicles or offices…just a room full of us with our desks.

When you’re in HR, you hear things no one else hears. You know about layoffs weeks before employees do. You hear about personal crises: cancer diagnoses, divorces, financial struggles, family emergencies. You sit in leadership meetings where decisions are made that will affect people’s livelihoods. Then you walk back to your desk and continue your day as if none of it happened.

There is no place to process it.

You can’t share confidential information with employees. You can’t always challenge leadership in the moment. And you often don’t have another HR leader to talk to for advice, commiseration or just a sanity check.

Many HR professionals are departments of one, expected to carry the emotional weight of the organization while also managing compliance, payroll, policies, investigations, hiring, training, performance issues and leadership coaching. (What did I forget?)

It’s a lot.

And yet a lot of HR professionals quietly carry it alone, then wonder why we burnout.

The Hidden Expectations of HR

No one tells you about the real expectations when you step into HR:

• You’re expected to remain calm during conflict

• Be professional when handling difficult conversations

• Manage your emotions while others express theirs

• Influence leadership decisions

• Protect the organization

• Advocate for employees

And somehow balance it with compliance, payroll, training, recruiting, employee relations, policy implementation, benefits, etc. all at the same time.

Most HR professionals obtain degrees and certifications that teach compliance and policies, but very few are taught how to navigate the leadership side of HR. Things like influencing executives, managing complex workplace politics, communicating clearly when tensions are high and moving from constantly reacting to actually shaping what happens next.

So many capable HR professionals end up feeling stuck. Not because they lack intelligence or work ethic, but because no one ever taught them how to step fully into Strategic HR leadership.

The Shift That Changes Everything

The HR leaders who eventually become strategic partners to leadership usually make one important shift.

They stop starting with the problems.

They start with outcomes.

Instead of reacting to whatever issue lands on their desk that day, they begin asking a different question: “What outcome are we actually trying to create?”

Once the outcome is clear, communication, expectations and accountability all become easier and more clear.

This simple shift moves HR from firefighting to intentional leadership.

And when HR leaders begin operating this way, something interesting happens:

• Leaders begin listening.

• Conversations change.

• HR starts influencing decisions instead of simply responding to them.

If You’re Feeling Stuck Right Now

If you’re an HR leader who sometimes feels:

• overwhelmed

• reactive

• unsure how to influence leadership

• isolated in your role

I want you to know something. There is nothing wrong with you. You are navigating one of the most complex roles inside any organization.

HR leadership is not something people master overnight. It develops through reflection, guidance and learning how to approach situations strategically rather than reactively.

And most importantly, it develops through not having to figure it out alone. Because no one should have to carry the weight of HR leadership without support.

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If you’re an HR leader who wants to become more strategic, confident and influential in your organization, this is exactly the work I explore here.

And if you want deeper support, this is also the work I do with HR leaders inside my Intentional HR Leadership Program.

What Your Hiding is Exactly What They Need to See

You don’t want to come across as difficult.

You don’t want to seem like you’re bragging.

So you say yes when you mean no. You keep your ideas to yourself because surely everyone already knows that. You stay flexible, stay agreeable, stay quiet — because that’s what a good team player does.

And somehow, you’re still getting overlooked.

Here’s what I need you to hear: the things you’ve been hiding to be likable are the exact things that signal leadership readiness.

You’re not protecting your reputation by staying small. You’re erasing it.

Let me start with flexibility, because this one is sneaky.

Adaptability is a real leadership skill. I’m not telling you to become rigid or difficult to work with. But there’s a line between being flexible and being a pushover — and a lot of high achievers have crossed it without realizing it.

When you’re always the one saying sure, no problem — even when it is a problem — people stop seeing you as collaborative. They start seeing you as someone who can be convinced of anything. Someone without priorities. Someone who doesn’t trust his or her own judgment enough to hold a line.

None of those read as leadership readiness.

Effective leaders are both flexible and firm. They can collaborate and still uphold expectations. They can be supportive and still say no when no is the right answer.

Before you say yes to the next request that gives you pause, ask yourself four questions:

Does this align with the goal — the actual number one priority right now? Will saying yes create more chaos later, even if it’s easier right now? Is this adjustment appropriate, or am I bending a process we actually need? Am I making this harder on my team by absorbing it?

You can be approachable and still have a backbone. In fact, people trust leaders more when they know where the line is. Flexibility without firmness isn’t collaboration — it’s confusion. When you hold a line, people know what to expect from you.

Now the one that might sting a little: your insights.

You have them. Every meeting, every project, every process review — you’re seeing things. Making connections. Noticing patterns. And you’re keeping most of it to yourself because you assume everyone else already sees what you see.

They don’t.

What feels obvious to you is not obvious to the room. The clarity you bring, the pattern you’re recognizing, the question nobody else is asking — that’s not common knowledge. That’s your differentiator. That’s how leaders recognize you.

But when you stay silent, nobody thinks they’re being thoughtful. They think they don’t have ideas. They’re not ready for more.

Your voice is part of your leadership presence. Without it, no one knows how you think, what you see, or the value you’re already bringing. And in organizations, if people can’t see it, it doesn’t exist.

So say the thing. Offer the idea. Name the pattern. Ask the question.

You’re not stating the obvious. You’re contributing clarity — and every team is hungry for it.

Which brings me to the blind spot that ties all of this together: confusing humility with invisibility.

Humility is a strength. It’s one I respect deeply. But humility and invisibility are not the same thing — and conflating them is one of the most common ways high performers quietly sabotage themselves.

Keeping your head down and doing good work will not get you noticed. I know that feels wrong, but it’s true. Inside organizations, if people don’t know what you’re doing, they assume you aren’t doing much.

Your leader cannot recognize what they cannot see. They cannot reward what they don’t know is happening.

So in your next 1:1, share it. Here’s what I accomplished this week. Here’s the problem I resolved. Here’s where I supported the team. Here’s what I want to learn next. That’s not bragging — it’s communication. You’re not talking about yourself, you’re talking about the work, the progress, the impact you’re making. There’s a difference.

Humility says I don’t need the attention. Invisibility says no one knows what I’m doing. Leadership says my work matters, and I’m going to make sure it’s serving this team and these goals.

You can be modest and still be known. You can be grateful and still advocate for yourself. Those things are not in conflict.

The pattern across all three of these blind spots is the same: you’ve been managing how you’re perceived at the expense of how you’re seen.

You wanted to be liked, so you made yourself easy. You wanted to be humble, so you made yourself quiet. You didn’t want to brag, so you let your best thinking stay inside your head.

And the result is that the very things that would mark you as a leader — your judgment, your insight, your standards — are invisible to the people who need to see them.

Stop hiding what makes you good at this.

That’s leading anyway.

Part 4 is coming — we’re getting into the Lead Anyway Framework: the three skills every individual contributor needs to master to be seen as a leader.

Ready to stop reading and start leading?

The Lead Anyway Toolkit — including the Leadership Behavior Audit and the 7-Day Challenge — is available exclusively for paid subscribers. If this series resonated with you, the toolkit is your next step. Upgrade to access the full toolkit.

The podcast episode that inspired the article for Part 3 is attached if you want to hear this one out loud.

Confidence: Stop Waiting to Feel Ready

Hi there, and welcome to the Strategic Minute Podcast.

I’m Danielle, an HR and Leadership coach and founder of HR Ally, a community of professionals seeking to grow and develop the things that you don’t learn when you get your degrees and certifications, but that are so important for career growth.

The strategic minute is where we take one leadership skill at a time and break it down into what it actually looks like in your day-to-day work—because a hill I will die on is that leadership isn’t a one and done training… it’s something you build over time, through learning, practicing, reflecting and refining. And that’s exactly what we do inside of HR Ally, each week. We take one leadership concept and examine what it really means, how it shows up in your role, how to practice it in your daily work and reflect on what went well and refine what could have gone better.

This week we’re talking about Confidence.

I watched a movie this weekend—I Feel Pretty with Amy Schumer. Whether you like her or not, the message is spot on for this topic. In the movie, she bumps her head and suddenly believes she looks exactly how she’s always wanted to look. Nothing actually changed—but she thought it did.

And because of that, she started showing up differently. She spoke up more, went after opportunities and carried herself with confidence.

Here’s the key though:

Her life didn’t change because her appearance changed.

It changed because her confidence did.

She already had everything she needed; she just wasn’t acting like it. That’s how confidence works. It’s not about becoming someone new. It’s about showing up as if you already trust and believe in yourself.

At the beginning of the movie, she’s working in the basement of a makeup company. Then a receptionist role opens up—the face of the company, the first person everyone sees walking into this high-end New York City office.

Before, she never would’ve applied. But now? She goes for it.

She gets the job—and she’s amazing at it. Not because anything about her changed… but because she finally felt good about who she was.

We all have innate gifts, but over time, we’re influenced to question them. We compare, we second-guess, and we start shrinking to fit what we think we’re supposed to be, instead of owning who we already are.

That’s what confidence does.

It changes how you show up.

What you go after.

And how you move through the world.

The opportunity didn’t change—she did.

Let’s look at the definition of Confidence: per Merriam Webster: Confidence is a noun and defined as a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. Example: I have confidence in my ability to speak up.

Confidence is believing that you can handle what’s in front of you — even if you don’t have all the answers yet. And most professionals wait to feel confident before acting, but confidence isn’t a feeling that just shows up. It’s something you build. You add a block of confidence after each action you take.

Confident leaders are experienced. They try before they feel ready. They aren’t fearless, they just believe in themselves. When They fail, they seek to understand why and recalibrate instead of giving up. Confidence grows from evidence of past success. You’ve done hard things before and you can do hard things again. You wouldn’t be listening to this podcast if you haven’t already succeeded in something you set out to do. Confident leaders aren’t always right or always successful. But one thing I’m extremely confident about is that I have learned far more from my failures than from my successes. So, failing isn’t always a bad thing, as long as you learn from it.

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

Let’s look at an example of where confidence or lack of confidence can show up:

Imagine you’re in a leadership meeting…the operations leader is proposing a policy change that will impact employees’ workload and morale. You immediately see potential consequences in implementing the policy, including high turnover, burnout, unclear accountability.

But you hesitate in speaking up…you think to yourself:

• Maybe I’m over thinking this

• They’ve already decided this, it’s not going to matter what I say

• I don’t want to sound negative

• What if I don’t have all of the data to back up my response

So you stay quiet.

Two weeks later, the issues you anticipated begin surfacing, now you’re managing complaints, turnover risk and reactive conversations.

Confident leadership doesn’t mean you have all of the answers, all you would have had to say was “I’d like us to think more about this, as I’m worried about the impact on employee retention and workload if we make this change. Let’s explore this more before we finalize it and roll it out.”

That’s it, it’s not a perfect speech, it’s just raising your hand expressing your concerns and getting others to see them as well. And this is confidence. It’s trusting your abilities enough to speak up

So, let’s reflect on what happened - the hesitation you felt wasn’t about your ability to do your job, it was about waiting for certainty on your thoughts. Confidence in this case would prevent you from future firefighting when the policy change doesn’t go well.

We don’t have to have all of our thoughts fully baked before we express a concern. The fact that a flag went up in our minds should be confidence enough, because everyday we are operating based on what we already know and have experienced. So, that flag was probably a result of a past experience you have already had.

Real confidence is actually trusting yourself and self-trust is built through experience and action. Your experience led you to the realization of the impact of the policy. You didn’t just start in HR yesterday, you’ve seen these kinds of things before and you know what impact they can have. And if you don’t speak up on these things, who will? Especially if you are the only HR person in the company. That alone should make you feel confident enough to speak up.

Confidence grows when actions match intentions. You want to make sure you’re managing risk for the organization as well as supporting the people and when your actions match both of these, you become more confident in what you do or what you want to say.

Strategic confidence is speaking up at the right moment. It doesn’t have to be “STOP! This isn’t going to work.” It’s simply raising your hand, expressing a concern and circling back around to re-visit the topic. You may end up moving forward with the proposed plan, but your confidence increases because you saw an issue, spoke up and reviewed it. And just because the plan still went through doesn’t mean you failed. You did what you are there to do, and that alone should give you confidence in your abilities.

Confidence is about trusting your own voice, it’s not always being right or never failing. It’s what you do with those failures.

Let’s look at Where Confidence Breaks Down in HR

If you’re a Mid-level leader or HR Department of One, you may often hesitate because:

• You have responsibility without clear authority - you may be a department of 1 and even have the title HR Manager, but you’re still seen as administrative or operational and not a strategic leader. This sometimes makes it challenging to step up and lead the way HR should.

• You are making decisions without a sounding board - you don’t have a fellow HR leader to run things by, someone more experienced than you, your trusted sounding boards may be finance and operations and while they are great colleagues, they don’t always understand or think about HR first.

• You don’t see models of strategic confidence around you because your role is unique to the organization. You don’t have someone else in HR to go first and you have to just learn as they go

So you wait…to feel ready, But as I stated before, readiness is rarely what creates confidence, action does. And confidence isn’t something you wait for, it’s something you build, like any skill, it grows through action and evidence, such as small wins, completed challenges and showing up even when you’re uncertain.

Let’s look at ways you can begin strengthening your confidence this week:

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

1. Keep Promises to Yourself

Start small. If you say you’ll speak up in a meeting, do it. Follow-through is where your trust in yourself grows. If you continue to fulfill your promises to yourself, you’ll grow that confidence. This is both in your personal and your professional life, if you say you’re going to work out tomorrow, do it. The more you follow-through on what you say you will do, the more confident you’ll become.

2. Know Your Strengths

List 3 things you do well, then think about 3 times those strengths made a difference, whether in your personal life or professional life. Confidence grows when you recognize your impact and reflect on your past wins.

3. Practice Self-Talk that Supports You

Your inner dialogue matters. Start replacing “I can’t” with “I’m learning how to…” or “I’ve handled things like this before.”

Remember: Confidence isn’t waiting for you on the other side of fear. It’s built as you move through it.

This week, reflect on What Would I do Differently if I believed in myself? What if I had Amy Schumer’s confidence in that movie? What would my life look like if I didn’t have negative self-talk and thought I could achieve anything?

Where are you holding yourself back because you lack confidence?

What would happen if you stepped forward, fear and all?

This Week I want you to Build Evidence because it grows confidence.

This week, choose one of these:

1️⃣ Speak once in a meeting where you normally stay quiet.

2️⃣ Make one decision without over-researching.

3️⃣ Set one boundary where you normally over function.

Then document what happened. Just the facts.

What did you expect (or fear) would happen?

What actually happened?

When we start to understand that gap, that’s where we grow.

So, remember, confidence is something you build from small actions, borrow it from future you when you need it for present you and back it up with the actions you take.

A lot of people think confidence comes after success, and that’s true, but it also has to come BEFORE success, from doing the hard things without a guarantee. So, you don’t need to feel confident to be confident. Confidence is built every time you take action, despite the doubt. Every time you hit “send,” speak up, ask the question or make the decision, you’re laying another brick on the foundation of belief in yourself.

When you think about confident people, what do they have in common?

I think about how:

They keep showing up.

They try things before they feel “ready.”

They fail, but they don’t let failure have the last word.

This week, don’t wait to feel confident. Look at the past evidence of where you showed up before you were ready and just know you are capable.

Most of the scenarios we rehearse in our minds never even happen, resulting in the cost of inaction often being much higher than the cost of action.

I’m going to leave you with our quote of the week:

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

This is exactly the work we do inside HR Ally—supporting HR professionals in moving from reacting to leading with clarity and confidence.

This is how you move from reacting…to leading.

If this resonated, you can find more about HR Ally in the show notes. I’ll see you in the next Strategic Minute.

You Got that HR Certification, Now What?

I’m Danielle, HR Leadership Coach and Advisor and founder of Engage HR. I support HR professionals who feel stuck in their roles and don’t know what to do next. They feel alone—often they’re HR departments of one—and they don’t know who to turn to for growth and development.

Today we’re going to talk about what happens after you get your HR certification and what’s next.

In HR, certifications are often recommended to make us more marketable and validate our experience and skills. But when you walk into work on Monday morning after passing the test on Saturday… very few companies will have confetti and balloons. Monday still looks like Monday. No one hands you a new job description, more authority or a “now that you’re certified” plan.

You’re left asking yourself: “Was that it?”

When I was the HR Manager for a fortune 500 company, but a smaller location, I had a leader who didn’t care about certifications. He was an AMAZING mentor and I learned everything I know about HR and how to treat people from him. I reported to him for about six years. But when we had a bunch of layoffs and it was time for me to start looking, I knew I needed to make myself more marketable—so I studied like crazy and got certified.

I can still picture it: studying on my back patio with a huge stack of flashcards. I also took an online prep course. I didn’t have any certification yet, so I went for the PHR. The pass rate was around 60% at the time, and I was nervous. The day I took my test, I even had to lock up my ChapStick to prove I wasn’t cheating. (I had never taken something like that before.) The only other exams I’d taken were the ASVAB and the SAT back in high school, and this felt like a whole different level.

Thankfully, I passed.

I remember being so damn happy. I grabbed my imprisoned ChapStick, put the top down in my little Volkswagen Eos convertible, and listened to—and sang—Florence and the Machine’s “Dog Days Are Over” on repeat the entire way home. I was thrilled I didn’t have to sit for that test again. And then, like any overachiever, I immediately started thinking, Why didn’t I just go for the SPHR? Either way, I earned the PHR and maintained it for more than 10 years.

But when I walked back in the door to work on Monday morning… it was still Monday morning. Same company. Same role. Same expectations. And because my leader didn’t care about certifications, he wasn’t going to celebrate or give me a raise because of it. That’s the part no one warns you about: you pass the exam and nothing changes. Your inbox is still full. Your leader still expects the same outputs. If you’re an overachiever, the high wears off fast and your brain goes, Cool. Now what?

Here’s the truth: the certification is real. It does prove something. But it’s mostly a signal to the market. Inside your company, it only matters if you convert it into a new conversation and new behaviors. It can help you get in the door, but it won’t automatically change your leverage inside the building.

Honestly, the only time I truly needed the credentials was when I was looking for a new role. Did they help me in my day-to-day HR work? Not really. They helped companies filter for qualified candidates—like a degree or a diploma. An HR certification told them they were hiring someone with experience. And if the hiring manager wasn’t in HR themselves, they often didn’t know what the certification really meant beyond that.

Now, as HR professionals, we know what it means. We studied our butts off for those letters, and we learned about things we might not have encountered yet—unions, ERISA, and actual court cases that shaped employment laws. It’s valuable. It’s good information to have.

But… it’s not everything.

So what should you do after you get certified?

First: update your résumé and LinkedIn. And celebrate. That wasn’t easy. At all.

Then ask yourself: Why did I pursue this certification in the first place?

Was it because you want more responsibility? More pay? More influence? Do you want to grow into a different area of HR? Or did you want to prove something to yourself? Your answer determines your next move.

Next, think about the context around it: did your leader know you were sitting for it? Did your company pay for it—or did you ask and get told no? Those details matter, because they shape what kind of conversation you can have now.

If you want to talk compensation

If your company covered the certification, it’s reasonable to discuss pay. They invested in it, which signals they see value in the credential—so now you can connect that investment to your contribution.

If your leader knew you were sitting for it, share that you passed, tell them what it took, and ask directly whether there’s a compensation increase available now that you’re certified. This is also a good time to connect the dots to your recent impact—projects you’ve completed, results you’ve driven, problems you’ve prevented.

If you’d rather wait until review time, make the certification a documented goal for the year and ensure you call it out in your self-review. You can also do a quick salary reality check using job boards for similar roles in your area. I wouldn’t recommend saying, “Other companies pay more for certified HR professionals,” because that can come off like you’re signaling an exit. But the information can strengthen your own conviction and help you build a clearer case.

And remember: when we ask for more money, we need reasoning behind it. The certification can be part of the case, but it can’t be the whole case. “I do what my job description says” isn’t leverage. The leverage comes from where you’re going above and beyond, stretching yourself, and increasing the value you bring to the organization.

The real unlock: shift your behaviors

You got the certification because you want to grow in your HR career. So now what? Now you get intentional about how you’re showing up.

Ask: What am I doing well? What do I need to improve? Where am I getting feedback—and where am I not?

Before your next 1:1, send a few questions ahead of time so your leader can actually think about them.

Here’s a simple example:

Hi Jessica, Now that I’ve achieved my HR certification, I’d love to switch up our one-to-ones to make them more valuable for both of us. My main focus lately was earning the certification, and now I want to keep growing and developing. I’d love your input on how I can better support you and what you’d like to see from me moving forward.

If there’s an area you want to grow in like compensation or benefits, get specific. Call out open enrollment or comp reviews and ask to be more involved so you can learn. Specificity helps everyone: it doesn’t leave Jessica scrambling to “come up with development,” and it signals that you’re serious about building skill, not just collecting credentials. In reality, YOU are responsible for your own development, so asking for specific opportunities is much better than saying a generic “I want to learn more.”

Here are strong questions for that 1:1:

• Can you share what I’m doing well?

• What would you like to see more of from me?

• Is there anything I’m doing that you think I should do less of?

• Is there anything I’m not doing that you’d like to see me doing?

• And if you have time—only if you have time—is there anything I can take off your plate to better support you?

This is gold. This is where you stop being reactive and start getting strategic. This is where you learn what “great” looks like for this leader in this organization—because it’s not the same everywhere. We all have different priorities based on our values and beliefs.

If you haven’t been asking questions like these and you’ve been in the organization for a while, sending them ahead of time is especially helpful. It gives your leader time to think. I’m an internal processor, so I’d rather receive questions in advance so I can give more thoughtful answers.

And not only does this give you data to improve your performance, it also gives you a temperature check on how you’re doing right now and it shows your leader you care about doing good work, learning, and growing.

That drive home with Florence and the Machine playing on repeat? I remember thinking I had crossed this huge finish line.

And in some ways, I had.

But the truth is, passing the test wasn’t the thing that changed my career. What changed my career was what I did afterwards: the conversations I started, the feedback I asked for, the projects I raised my hand for and the moment I stopped waiting to be “noticed” and started advocating for myself, on purpose.

So if you’re sitting there with your new certification and a quiet sense of okay… now what? You’re not alone. That post-certification letdown doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision. It just means you’re stepping out of a season where the goal was crystal clear and into one where you get to decide what growth looks like.

Start with your next 1:1. Send the questions ahead of time. Get clear on what “great” looks like in your role, with your leader, in your organization. Then take one step toward it—more scope, more influence, more confidence, more pay—whatever you’re actually after.

You earned the credential. Now it’s time to turn it into momentum.

How to Become a Strategic HR Leader

 Hi, I’m Danielle, founder of Engage HR and the Intentional HR Leader program. I’m an HR leadership coach supporting professionals who have gotten the degree and the certifications, but who still feel stuck in their roles. I have over 20 years in HR leadership experience for brands like General Dynamics and Volvo, and now I support leaders and HR departments of one in growing and developing their leadership skills and confidence through my Intentional HR Leader program.

Welcome to the Strategic Minute Podcast, where we take a deep dive into an important leadership topic, understand the problem, and develop a practical solution.

Today we’re going to talk about how to gain respect in HR, not through personality, but through positioning.

A lot of HR professionals are drowning in tactical work and feel like an admin in these roles. You’re drinking from a fire hose, just trying to keep your head above water and you don’t even know how to be strategic.

Today, I’m gonna help you take your first step to becoming a respected, strategic HR professional.

Let’s look at it practically.

What’s landing on your desk the most?

Is it time sheets, performance issues, supervisors asking for support?

Let’s start there. And we’ll use the intentional HR leader framework: what is our desired outcome and work backwards.

So if it’s supervisors asking for support, what is our desired outcome?

We want supervisors to know what to do without having to come to HR for everything, right? So a measurable, desirable outcome could be: In 90 days, supervisors confidently handle routine management situations without escalating to HR, unless legally or strategically necessary.

Supervisors tend to escalate when they don’t have clear expectations, they’re afraid they’re gonna do something wrong or they don’t know the standard. So, in order for us to achieve our desired outcome, what needs to be true?

Supervisors need to have clear expectations. They need clear performance standards, a clear documentation process and clear escalation guidelines.

When do they come to you?

If what good looks like is undefined HR becomes the safety net to make sure they’re doing things correctly.

A lot of supervisors are promoted for technical skills, not leadership ability. So in order for us to achieve the desired outcome, supervisors need to know how to have those performance conversations, how to give feedback, how to document and how to manage conflict. And, they need to have a basic understanding of employment risk. Without these skills, the escalation to HR is actually protecting themselves.

So let’s ask ourselves, are supervisors feeling afraid of making a mistake? Unsure that HR is gonna support them if they do it on their own, or that they’ll be blamed if they do something wrong.

This is why everything is being escalated to hr.

So in order to stop that escalation, we need supervisors to have psychological safety to make reasonable decisions, clarity on what HR will support and define the decision making boundaries. Supervisors need guardrails. That’s why the employee handbook becomes their North Star.

Do the supervisors know when HR should be involved? Some escalations are appropriate, don’t get me wrong. Do they know what legal risk is? What requires HR approval? What is within their own discretion? In order to make your supervisors more independent, you need to implement clear expectations.

And this may be hard to hear, but HR needs to stop rescuing, too. You’ve been enabling these supervisors and their behavior. If you answer every question, fix every issue, rewrite every email, conduct every difficult conversation. You’re training them to be dependent on you. HR needs to redirect, not rescue, ask coaching questions instead of solving the problem.

We have to tolerate that initial discomfort because I know we wanna help. It’s in our DNA usually whenever we take an HR position, right? But we need to stop saying, we will handle it and start asking them questions like, how would you like to approach this situation?

So in order for our desired outcome to occur: In 90 days, supervisors confidently handle routine people management situations without escalating to hr.

Unless legally or strategically necessary, we need to have clear expectations that are defined and communicated, developed leadership skills. What kind of training have these leaders had? What kind of coaching? Are they getting clear decision boundaries? What can they make a decision on and when should they consult you?

What are we doing to reinforce the desired behaviors and to continue to grow and develop our supervisors’ leadership abilities? And we need HR to stop absorbing everything we coach instead of solve. Reactive HR answers the question, while strategic HR designs the capability that prevents the question.

That’s the difference between an admin and an architect.

Now let’s make sure we toot our own horn to leadership. A lot of times we forget to do this instead of telling them we’re working to solve the issue of supervisors coming to us for help, we say we have identified development opportunities for our frontline leaders and are creating a leadership framework to reduce their dependency and strengthen frontline accountability.

Doesn’t that sound a lot better?

Strategic HR isn’t about answering every question that’s on your desk. It’s about asking why does this keep coming to me? What system is missing? How do we prevent this from happening over and over? When you move from responder to designer, you stop being an admin.

This week, I want you to identify one recurring issue that keeps landing on your desk instead of solving it, ask what capability gap is creating this and what system could prevent it?

Design the solution. Don’t just deliver the response. The truth is respect doesn’t come from being busy. It comes from being valuable to the organization. When you see trends, design systems, don’t react every time an incident occurs.

For example, instead of handling attendance issues one by one, build a standard for attendance. This sets clear expectations for everyone and gives guidance on how to handle attendance issues and build credibility.

HR gains respect when it shifts from reactive to intentional, from absorbing everyone’s emotions to advising strategically on ways forward, from reporting head count and attendance to raising concerns of the impact issues may have on the business, from people pleaser to culture standard setter.

If this episode resonated and you’re realizing you’re capable of more strategic influence, I highly recommend we conduct your leadership diagnostic on a call to determine where you already shine and where you could be a little more polished. Through the Intentional HR leader program, I support mid-level HR professionals and HR departments of one in building the structural thinking and confidence required to move from firefighting to frameworks.

You don’t need another certification. You need containment, perspective and intentional development.

Culture Reflects the Standard You Are Willing to Enforce

A healthy culture is built on clear expectations, but that clarity muddies as soon as the accountability disappears. And the lack of accountability is evident when feedback is delayed or not given at all. I’ve seen one consistent pattern throughout my 20+ years in HR Leadership: when accountability disappears at the leadership level, culture deteriorates. I’ve watched this pattern unfold more times than I can count: a leader puts off the tough conversations and within months, the team culture is eroded and it’s quickly starting to spread to other teams like a cancer.

First, let’s look at why feedback doesn’t happen, as most leaders don’t avoid feedback because they don’t care. It could be the total opposite and they care too much and are over-thinking how to approach the situation. Or they could be avoiding it because they’re afraid it will go wrong, hurt someone’s feelings, make things awkward or won’t land the right way. Remember, leaders are human, too. And they want to be liked and don’t always consider that being liked can come without being respected. Leaders may not want to have that conversation because they think it isn’t kind, but what they fail to realize is that avoiding the conversation is actually much less kind, because it’s fanning the flames of the team being frustrated with their colleague. And, finally, the leader may not have been trained on how to give feedback, so they don’t know how to approach the situation. And let’s not forget, it’s the things we don’t want to do or know how to do that we put off over and over again.

The first few times, it’s not going to be comfortable, and that’s normal. The first few times we try anything new, it’s not comfortable, but it becomes more familiar the more we do it. When we stay human and approach it out of care instead of pointing fingers, it changes the whole vibe of the conversation. The fact is that the employee came to work there and agreed to the policies and procedures at the time they were hired, so when they veer from what they agreed to, we have to find out why.

Avoiding the feedback isn’t just impacting you and the employee violating the policy, it ripples throughout your entire team. If the behavior isn’t addressed, the team starts to question if there even are any expectations, if the handbook that they signed was just going through the motions, and if you’re not going to hold them accountable to that policy, do the other policies even matter? The rest of your team becomes resentful. This is when quiet quitting happens. Quiet Quitting is the act of checking out of a job while you look for another one and doing only the bare minimum, no more going above and beyond. They don’t care anymore. Poor performance, low quality and productivity, low morale, lack of accountability, decreased trust and respect, etc., these things all happen as a result of not having those tough conversations.

Let’s talk about feedback that builds trust and how to navigate those hard conversations with confidence. In my experience, the discomfort of a direct conversation is always cheaper than the cost of avoided accountability. So though it may feel difficult right now, it’s necessary and the more you do it, the more you will see the results of it, as well as the more comfortable you’ll get with it.

Most conversations become difficult when

• We wait too long - we don’t address the behavior when it happens and now it just feels silly to bring it up because it’s been so long ago

• We’re unclear about the goal of the conversation

• We treat feedback like a confrontation and not collaboration

Remember, feedback is a gift, not a weapon, but it’s only a gift if it’s timely, specific and provided with care.

Let’s look at an example: Steve keeps coming to work late or not at all and you need to address the behavior.

1. First, let’s look at the impact this behavior is having on

   1. The team - the team has to step in for him when he’s not there. They become resentful because they are all expected to be on time to work, but he doesn’t seem to be held to the same standard. Lowering morale, increasing animosity, decreasing teamwork. They see you, as the leader, who should say something to this employee. If you have strong team members, they will say something, too, but you, as the leader need to hold this employee accountable for the sake of the job, the team, the work and the organization.

   2. Production targets - Production targets are barely met because the team is functioning shorthanded for the first 2 hours of the shift or for the full shift. Therefore, leaving the company to potentially need to work overtime to reach the targets that are missed or more mistakes being made because people are trying to do their own work and Steve’s work. The overtime wasn’t planned, so now it’s additional cost that cuts into your company’s profit, and your bonus.

   3. The company - The team next to yours is seeing what is happening. When they take breaks with your team, they hear the complaints about Steve not coming in on time or at all and you, as the leader, not doing anything about it. This ultimately lowers their morale, so the resentment starts to grow into the rest of the organization.

2. Now, let’s talk about how to address the situation

   1. First, seek to understand - why is the behavior happening?

      1. “Hey Steve! I wanted to check-in with you, I have noticed you have been late to work and absent a lot, is everything ok?”

         1. This opens the door for Steve to share what is going on with him, if anything.

         2. It starts the conversation and lets him know that you are holding him accountable, you care and that it’s noticed when he isn’t at work.

         3. If he shares something is going on, ask yourself if it could be FMLA eligible (he has to be employed for 1 year prior to being eligible, and meet other criteria, but it’s something to keep in mind if your company is legally required to offer FMLA), or if there is something that you can do to support him - maybe an EAP referral if he has something personal going on…as a leader, you want your team to feel comfortable coming to you and support them being able to come to work as their best selves.

         4. Regardless, if anything or nothing is going on, we still need to hold Steve accountable to our attendance policy.

3. Employees appreciate accountability, because it reinforces clear expectations. Everyone being held accountable to them helps to keep the environment stable.

Things to remember when you need to address a behavior:

1. Address it as soon as possible. If an employee calls out sick for the 3rd time this month, have the conversation as soon as he returns the next day.

2. Be specific about the behavior and seek to understand, set clear expectations and hold him accountable. “Hey Steve, this is the 3rd time you have been out this month, is something going on?” If something is going on personally, talk with HR to see what support the company can provide to him, but don’t let his attendance go, he needs to be held accountable regardless. “I really need you to be here, when you’re not here the team is short-handed and everyone has to work extra hard to carry the load.” Explain to him that when he started, he agreed to the attendance policy and that you need to hold him accountable to it because the organization would not be successful if you didn’t hold your team accountable to the policies. If he was picking up the slack for a colleague who was always late or absent, he would want you to do something about it, too.

By having these difficult conversations, you’re removing the resentment and reinforcing the organization’s policies, in other words, you’re doing your job as a leader. The more difficult conversations you have when you see an employee not following the policies or starting to step over the line, by addressing it immediately you are showing them that accountability isn’t cruel, it’s actually leadership.

Culture always reflects the standard you’re willing to enforce.

Danielle

Your Leadership Begins Now

I really appreciate you joining me on this master class journey. In my 25 years in corporate environments, 20+ in HR leadership roles, I’ve learned a lot. I saw a lot, and I have a lot to share.

So the biggest takeaway I have for you is you don’t become a leader when someone hands you a title. You become a leader the moment you decide to show up differently. Leadership isn’t a role, it’s an identity, clarity, confidence, and presence, and none of those require permission, a team, or a title. Everything we covered in this master class is something you can practice right now. In the next meeting, the next conversation, the next decision. Where are you already taking initiative? Where are you already asking those strategic questions? Where are you anticipating needs before someone asks? How are you communicating proactively? When have you stayed calm under pressure? Where have you taken ownership without being asked? And what moments show your influence even without authority?

So if this felt like a shift, if something inside you clicked, if you recognized pieces of the leader you’re becoming. Then this is your invitation to take the next step because your next level isn’t waiting on someone else’s approval, it’s waiting on you. Lead anyway.

I founded the intentional Leader program for new and emerging leaders and HR professionals who feel stuck in their roles and aren’t sure how to get to the next level. The intentional Leader program supports high achievers in identifying the real root of their challenges, removing inefficiencies, and stepping into their next level career identity with clarity, confidence, and strategic direction that actually works. I do this through 1 to 1 coaching with my clients where we look at what’s going well, where they need support, what they’re struggling with, and how we can get them unstuck. I also share micro-learnings that have leadership stories, lessons, challenges, and reflections to support your leadership development in your daily work, and I share proven frameworks that I’ve used in my own leadership career, like your 1st 90 days in a new leadership role or the guide to getting the most out of one to ones with your leader.

I’ve also recently started a separate private podcast called the Strategic Minute that shares short leadership stories and lessons learned. If you’re interested in learning more about the intentional leader program, schedule a call with me at the link in the show notes. I’m so glad you joined me on this journey. I hope it was helpful and helped you move the needle on your own leadership journey. Remember, lead anyway. The title and the team will follow.

The Leadership Behavior Audit

Welcome back to Lead Anyway. This episode is designed to create massive self-awareness. I spent the last 6 episodes talking a lot. Now it’s time to put pen to paper and audit where you are and what you can do better.

As I’ve mentioned, leadership isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you demonstrate every single day in your interactions, your reactions, your communication, and your presence. You’re broadcasting who you are as a leader. So in this episode, we’re gonna do something most people never do audit your leadership behavior.

This is where you’ll get clarity on 3 big questions.

• How am I currently showing up?

• How is that behavior being read by others?

• And what small shifts would instantly elevate my leadership presence?

This is your turning point. Understanding what you’re already doing helps you see where you are already showing up and where you can show up better. Let’s dive in.

Let’s look at what leadership behaviors you’re already demonstrating. Where are you taking initiative? List those out. Where are you already asking those strategic questions? Where are you anticipating needs before someone asks? How are you communicating proactively? When have you stayed calm under pressure? Where have you taken ownership without being asked? What moments show your influence even without authority? These are not small things. These are the exact behaviors senior leaders look for when choosing who to trust, promote, and develop. The fact that you’re already doing them shows that you’re a natural born leader and that you’re ready for the next step.

Here’s a biggie. As with self-reflection, we like to see the good, but we have to focus on what work we still need to do. So what leadership behaviors are we avoiding? Where are we staying quiet when we could contribute? What about waiting for permission instead of stepping up? Where are we being overly adaptable instead of strategic? Where are we doing the work instead of owning the impact? What about being humble to the point of invisibility? Are we letting people know what we’re doing? What about reacting emotionally instead of pausing? And playing small to stay comfortable.

These avoidances don’t make you weak. They just show you the next steps to take to expand your influence. Let’s look at how you’re perceived. As we mentioned, you can be doing all the right things, but if no one sees it, it doesn’t count in the world of leadership. What behaviors are visible and easy to notice and what behaviors are happening behind the scenes that need more visibility? What value are you adding that no one knows about? And where are you assuming your leader should just know that you’re doing great work? This section connects directly to humility versus invisibility. How do you show up under pressure? Emotions can be a career killer. Showing up calm and under control is what people are looking for as a leader. Think of some of the leaders you have admired in your lifetime. They showed up calm, under control, and intentional.

When things get stressful, do you escalate or do you stabilize? What does your presence feel like to others during tense moments? Do you get quieter, faster, more reactive? Do you anchor the room or absorb the chaos? Your pressure response is one of the biggest tells of leadership readiness.

Let’s look at your natural leadership skills. Do people come to you for solutions? Do they ask for clarity? Do they come to you for emotional support? Do they look to you when things feel chaotic? Do they rely on you for execution or vision? Do they listen when you speak? Your strongest influence point is the gateway to expanding your leadership.

Some micro shifts that can elevate your leadership immediately.

• Ask one strategic question in your next meeting.

• Speak once, even if it’s short.

• Communicate one thing proactively.

• Claim one accomplishment out loud.

• Anticipate one need.

• Pause before one response.

• Take ownership for one thing.

• Lead one small moment.

• Clarify expectations with one teammate.

• And share one solution instead of waiting for direction.

These microshifts compound. This is how people go from overlooked to undeniable. Let’s end with one powerful reflection. If you change nothing about your job, but everything about your behavior, how would your leadership be seen differently? Let that sink in. That shift right there, that’s the beginning of your next level.

I bring calm to chaos, clarity to the journey, and confidence to your leadership, whether you have the team or title or not. If you’re interested in learning more about my intentional leader program. I put the link to connect with me in the show notes. Thanks for listening today. I hope you found this helpful, and remember, lead anyway, and you’ll get there sooner than you think.

The Promotion-Ready Checklist

Welcome back to Lead Anyway. This is a private podcast series for the ambitious professional who knows they’re meant for more, even if the organization hasn’t recognized it yet.

I’m Danielle and I help high achieving professionals break out of the stuck cycles, see the real issue with clarity, and rise into their next level of leadership with confidence and alignment.

In this episode, we’re gonna talk about how to become promotion ready before the promotion. Let me give you the exact checklist leaders use consciously or unconsciously, when assessing who is ready to rise. These are the behaviors that make people think, oh, they’re ready.

Number one, does this person communicate proactively and set clear expectations? This is one of those core behaviors that separates helpers from leaders. Being proactive is great, but proactive communication becomes true leadership when you use it to clarify roles, set boundaries, establish expectations. In other words, leaders don’t wait for problems. They prevent them by setting clarity up front. When you set clear expectations, you’re telling people what’s needed. You’re aligning on timelines, and you’re defining what success looks like. This reduces misunderstandings and ensures everyone knows their part, eliminating the back and forth and protecting your own time and energy. You’re also signaling that you think ahead, which is a major leadership indicator.

Here’s why this matters. When expectations aren’t clear, people guess, and when people guess, mistakes happen. And when mistakes happen, leaders get frustrated. And when leaders get frustrated, trust erodes. Clarity eliminates all of that. Setting expectations doesn’t make you bossy. It makes you reliable, and it clears up any confusion and questions like, what am I supposed to do again? It tells people that you care enough about this work and this relationship to make sure that everyone’s on the same page. That level of clarity is what effective leaders do naturally. Don’t we all want to know what’s expected of us, both professionally and personally? I know I do.

So ask yourself, have I communicated what I need and the timeline? What about the priority? Have I explained the outcome that we’re aiming for, and have I asked what they need from me to be successful? When you proactively set expectations, you’re not just communicating, you’re leading. This is one of the clearest signs of leadership potential.

You have the ability to look around, notice what’s needed, and step in without waiting for permission or a formal assignment, and that’s rare. Most people wait. They wait to be asked or for direction or for someone else to take the lead, but leaders don’t wait, they act. You have 3 things that make initiative natural for you. You notice what others don’t see. You care about the bigger picture and you trust yourself to figure things out. If something needs to be done, you do it. You don’t ask for fanfare, and you don’t need hand holding. You take ownership. But here’s the part most emerging leaders miss. Taking initiative is only half the leadership skill. Communicating that initiative is the other half. If you complete something valuable, but never share it, people assume it didn’t happen, it wasn’t important, it came from someone else, or it didn’t require much skill. Visibility matters, not to brag, but to ensure your contribution is seen, understood, and connected to the team’s success. So after you take initiative, let your leader know what you did. Share the outcome and highlight the impact. Explain why it mattered. This helps your leader trust you with more responsibility, and it reinforces that you’re operating like a leader already. The key is balance, not humble to the point of invisibility, but not bragging to the point of arrogance. Just clear, confident communication. I noticed blank, so I took care of it. Here’s the outcome. That’s it. That’s leadership. And that’s why taking initiative stands out.

Item 2, you anticipate needs, one of the strongest indicators of leadership potential. Most people respond, leaders prepare. You know a big project is coming. You don’t sit and wait for instructions and hope everything works out. You look ahead. You ask what will the team need? What information will be asked for, what steps can be done easily? What’s likely to slow us down? What problems can we prevent right now? What decisions will my leader need from me? What can I organize, gather, or clarify before the pressure hits? This level of foresight isn’t common, it’s rare, really, and it’s one of the clearest signs you’re operating like a leader. Anticipation creates stability. It helps your team feel prepared instead of reactive. Helps your leader trust you because you’re thinking strategically, and it keeps the work flowing smoothly instead of chaotically. This isn’t just about being helpful. It’s about managing risk, preventing overwhelm, and creating efficiency. So for example, before a big project, do you need to gather resources or data? Do you need to brief the team? Is there a process that needs tightening? Are there questions you can answer now instead of later? Does your leader need an early summary or plan? Are there obstacles you can remove in advance? This kind of preparation makes you the person everyone can count on when things get busy, including your leader. Anticipation equals leadership maturity. It shows you understand not just what needs to be done, but when and why it matters. Your ability to think ahead doesn’t just make the project smoother, it builds trust, credibility, and influence. That’s what leaders do. They see what’s coming and position the team for success.

Checklist 3. You ask strategic questions. Asking strategic questions is one of the strongest signs of leadership maturity. They aren’t about getting answers. They’re about getting clarity. They signal that you’re thinking ahead and considering the whole picture and preparing, not just reacting to what’s happening now. When you ask questions like what’s the goal, what does success look like, what information will we need? What could get in our way? Who needs to be involved? What’s the timeline? And what should we prioritize first? You’re demonstrating the exact kind of leading of thinking leaders rely on, because these questions uncover blind spots and prevent mistakes. They strengthen decision making and build alignment, create clarity, and ensure everyone is working towards the same goal.

Here’s the key. Leaders don’t have to know everything. They just have to ask the right questions. Even when you don’t know what’s needed, asking questions is leadership. You can brainstorm with your leader, with your teammates, or with anyone involved in the work. This doesn’t make you look unsure. It makes you look intentional and proactive, and bonus, it scores points with your team because they feel like their voice matters too. It shows what you’re thinking about what’s coming, what’s required, what’s missing, what’s needed to be clarified, anticipated, and prepared for. Asking strategic questions shows that you’re not waiting for direction. You’re thinking beyond your task list. You’re invested in the success of the team, and you’re approaching the work like a leader, not a follower. Remember, leadership is not about knowing all the answers. It’s about knowing what questions unlock the answers. Teams follow people who think like this, and leaders trust people who think like this, and organizations promote people who think like this. Your ability to ask strategic questions is one of the clearest signs that you’re ready.

Checklist item number 4. You stay calm under pressure, which is one of the most valuable leadership traits you can have. When situations get stressful, most people speed up, panic, or react emotionally. Leaders do the opposite. They slow down and they breathe, and they regulate themselves, and then they respond. They don’t react. Let me be clear, staying calm doesn’t mean you don’t feel pressure. It means you don’t show panic. When you stay calm, you stabilize the energy of the room and the team. You give people something to anchor to. You help others think more clearly, and you reduce emotional reactivity. You keep the team focused on solutions and project confidence and competence. People trust you more. Your calm in the chaos becomes a leadership tool, and this is where the power of the pause is essential. The pause gives you just enough space to regulate your nervous system, stop an emotional reaction, assess the real issue, choose your next step intentionally. And prevent unnecessary escalation. When you pause, you protect yourself and the team from spiraling into chaos. Calm is not passive, calm is leadership. People will always follow the calmest person in the room, not the loudest. Certainly not the one who looks like they’re running around with their hair on fire.

Your grounded energy communicates we’re OK, and we can handle this. Let’s think this through. Here’s what we’re going to do next. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about creating enough stillness to see the situation clearly and move forward strategically. Being grounded under pressure is more than a personality trait. It’s a leadership advantage. It builds trust, credibility, and influence and makes people feel safe following your lead.

Item number 5, you take ownership, and this is one of the clearest markers of trustworthy leadership. Real leaders don’t blame, they don’t hide, and they don’t deflect responsibility. Sadly, I’ve worked with a lot who do. Real leaders own the outcome, the wins, and the mistakes. Taking ownership means you acknowledge what went wrong. Take responsibility for your part in it, and help others understand their part without shame. You look for root causes instead of excuses. You correct the issue so it doesn’t repeat. You protect your team in public and grow them in private. You choose accountability over ego. This behavior builds tremendous trust. When leaders own mistakes publicly, the team feels safe. When they share credit publicly, the team feels valued. That combination creates loyalty. Privately accountable and publicly supportive is one of the most powerful leadership equations. If you make a mistake, own it, learn from it. Fix the root cause so it doesn’t become a pattern, and communicate the plan to prevent it in the future. If someone on your team makes a mistake, don’t shame them. Help them understand what happened. Identify what broke in the process. Equip them with tools or clarity to avoid repeating it. Support them in rebuilding confidence. Mistakes are part of growth. Repeated mistakes signal a leadership gap. The goal is not perfection. The goal is project and prevention. By taking ownership, you’re creating trust, safety, credibility, consistency, accountability, and respect on your team. Your team learns from your example. They learn how to handle difficult moments with integrity. And they learn what mistakes aren’t something to hide. There’s something to learn from. This is what leadership looks like, not perfection or defensiveness, not blame but ownership.

Number 6, you influence without authority. This is the test of leadership. Anyone can lead when they have a title. Real leaders influence before they have one. When you take initiative, you ask strategic questions, you anticipate needs, communicate proactively, stay calm under pressure, support your leader, take ownership, share your insights. You naturally become someone people listen to, trust and follow. This creates informal authority, the most powerful kind. Why? Because people are choosing to follow you, not required to. Influence without authority means your teammates come to you for advice. People value your perspective. You quietly set the tone and rhythm for the team. Colleagues rely on you to help them navigate challenges. This is leadership in its purest form. You’re not forcing influence, you’re earning it through consistency, clarity, and action. The more you operate like a leader, the more people respond to you as a leader. Influence without authority positions you as being reliable, calm, insightful, trustworthy, capable, and strategic. Some people want to follow. You become the person others look to when things feel uncertain, the person they check in with before making decisions, the person they ask, What do you think? This is leadership readiness, and here’s the secret. Influence comes before authority, not after. People trust your leadership long before HR assigns you a title. Your behavior builds the authority your title will eventually reflect.

Item 7, you practice visible leadership behaviors, which is exactly how emerging leaders get recognized long before they receive a title. Leadership isn’t just about what you think or what you intend. It’s about what you do consistently in ways that others can see, feel, and rely on. Most people practice leadership privately. You practice it visibly. This means people around you can see your leadership through your actions, such as taking initiative, asking the strategic questions, anticipating needs, communicating clearly, helping colleagues, supporting your leader, finding solutions and setting expectations.

These behaviors tell a story about who you are and that you’re steady, proactive, thoughtful, strategic, dependable. Someone positioned for leadership. Here’s why visibility matters. As we mentioned before, if your leadership isn’t visible, it’s invisible, and invisible leadership doesn’t get recognized. Practicing visible leadership behaviors does these three powerful things. It builds your reputation. People begin to see you as someone who leads naturally. It builds trust. Teams trust consistency and leaders trust reliability. It builds influence. People follow the person who looks like they know where they’re going. Your behavior signals confidence and direction, which increases your influence even without authority.

Leadership is built in the moments people can actually witness. They’ll look at how you handle conflict, how you respond to pressure, communicate in meetings, support others, solve problems, or show up every day. Your behavior teaches people how to see you. When your leadership behaviors are visible and consistent, you don’t have to convince anyone that you’re ready for more. They already know.

Remember, leaders aren’t chosen, they’re noticed. I bring calm to the chaos, clarity to the journey. And confidence to your leadership whether you have a team or a title. If you’re interested in learning more about my intentional leader program, set up a time to talk with me. The link’s in the show notes. Remember, I see your brilliance when you don’t. Thank you for listening today. I hope you found this helpful, and remember, lead anyway. You’ll get there sooner than you think.

7 Small Leadership Challenges You Can Do Today

Welcome back to Lead Anyway. Today we’re going to talk about the Lead Anyway Action Plan. I’m going to give you the simplest and most powerful way to start leading immediately, because remember, leadership doesn’t begin when someone hands you a title. It begins the moment you decide to show up differently.

These next 7 actions are designed to shift your identity, elevate your behavior, and help you step into leadership right now, exactly where you are. Small actions with big impact.

Action 1, who do you want to be as a leader? This is where we reflect on the great leaders we’ve had, as well as the not so great leaders. Before you act like a leader, you must see yourself as one. If you don’t have the conviction that you’re a leader, no one else will either. Today I encourage you to answer these questions.

• Who do I want to be as a leader?

• What energy do I want to bring into the rooms?

• How do I want people to describe me?

• What do I value as a leader and what behaviors reflect this identity?

Your leadership identity becomes your internal compass. When you know who you’re becoming, your actions naturally shift to match it.

Action 2, ask one strategic question. Leaders don’t wait for answers, they ask better questions. Today, ask one strategic question, such as what’s the goal here? What would success look like? What’s the priority? What do we need to prepare for? Strategic questions show initiative, clarity, and foresight. This is how you start influencing without authority.

Action 3. Speak once in a meeting. Your voice is your leadership instrument. It must be used today. Contribute one thought in a meeting, an insight, observation, a suggestion, question, clarification, even. It doesn’t have to be profound. It just has to be visible. Leadership grows through consistent, confident expression.

Action 4. Communicate proactively. Don’t wait to be asked. Don’t wait for someone to check in. Don’t wait for misalignment to happen. Take one proactive communication step by sending a summary, clarifying expectations, updating your leader, confirming next steps, or realigning priorities. Proactive communication builds trust and signals readiness.

Action 5. Practice the pause. We’ve talked about this. This is your leadership power move. When pressure hits, when someone frustrates you, or when you’re about to respond emotionally, pause, take a breath, regulate. Choose intentionally. Today, practice the pause at least once and notice how it changes your clarity, your tone, and your outcome.

Action 6. Lead a moment. Leadership happens in moments, not just roles. Today, lead one moment. Examples. Start a conversation. Offer to organize something. Help solve a tension point. Support a teammate. Navigate a problem calmly. Step in when someone hesitates. This is micro leadership, the kind that builds momentum and influence very quickly.

Action 7. Reflect and document. How did I show up differently? Reflection transforms action into identity and increases self-awareness. Trust me, all great leaders reflect on what went well, what didn’t, and what they could have done differently. Ask yourself, what did I do differently this week and what changed in how I showed up? What did I notice about how people responded to me? What leadership behaviors felt natural? And what am I proud of? What do I want to repeat? This step cements that shift. This is where you integrate the new version of yourself.

By the end of these 7 actions, you’ll have acted like a leader, communicated like a leader, thought like a leader, shown up like a leader, and influenced like a leader. Not because someone gave you permission, but because you decided to lead anyway. I bring calm to the chaos, clarity to the journey, and confidence to your leadership, whether you have a team or a title. If you’re interested in learning more about my intentional leader program, schedule a call with me. The links in the show notes. Thanks for listening today. I hope you found this helpful, and remember, lead anyway, and you’ll get there sooner than you think.